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Bush Awards Gibson Presidential Medal of Freedom

President: ‘Thanks for Taking the Heat off Me This Week’

In a stunning moment of redemption for the embattled actor Mel Gibson, President George W. Bush today awarded him the Presidential Medal of Freedom, telling the star, “Thanks for taking the heat off me this week.”

Mr. Bush, who has spent the summer floundering amid crises in North Korea, Iran, Iraq, and Lebanon, said that Mr. Gibson’s DUI arrest and subsequent anti-Semitic tirade had distracted the media and the American people for a solid week, “And for that I am eternally grateful.”

Mr. Bush said that the Gibson scandal had given him the “first real vacation I have had all summer.”

Mr. Gibson accepted the coveted medal graciously, telling the President, “The only thing I value more than this medal is my deep and abiding love for every Jew in the world.”

But even as Mr. Bush praised Mr. Gibson for drawing the American people’s attention away from his disastrous performance as president, he acknowledged that the distraction provided by the Hollywood star’s personal meltdown would not last forever.

“Other celebrities must step up and fill the void once this scandal dies down,” Mr. Bush said. “And that means it is time for Paris Hilton to release another sex tape.”