Bush isn’t the Devil, actually, but he’s just like the Devil

Now that the uproar over Chavez’s speech has ended, those who were at first a little embarrassed to see someone say at the UN what they’ve been saying everywhere else, have regrouped, and started agreeing with and echoing Chavez. The latest hit piece I read struck me as amusing, because, in a heavily joking fashion, it conceded that Chavez isn’t correct — Bush isn’t really the Devil. But before you think there’s some sanity there, the same article went on to explain that Bush is nevertheless just like the Devil, only he’s the low-rent version. (And wait until you see the terms in which he describes those who vote for Bush.) You can read the whole silly thing here, but the following are a few choice morsels:

Here is Lucifer, a massive, thunderous hero, subtle and intelligent and enormously articulate, full of passion and red-hot anarchy, the ultimate rebel. He is often seen reclining in his cavernous, rocky lair, lying on his side, all muscled godlike beauty and ruined glory and deep seduction and heat. He is just terribly, wonderfully alluring.

See? Right there, already we’re a galaxy away from Dubya. Bush, of course, has no such magnificence. Bush is small and quivery and eats his vanilla pudding with a fork. While Satan orates and philosophizes at great intellectual length, Dubya can’t even sit still during an entire State of the Union address without fidgeting and moving his upper body back and forth like a little metronome, twitching and squirming like a child.

***

In Milton, the glorious angel Lucifer’s incredible act of defiance, his stunning rebellion against God, marks him as not merely proud and insolent but powerfully courageous. After all, Satan chooses to endure unbelievable suffering for the sake of his independence, rather than endure numb cubicle-like servility in heaven. Also, hell has better booze. Cooler dance clubs. Less insufferable harp music. That sort of thing.

And lo, here is Bush. Dubya is, everyone agrees, a bit of an intellectual midget. He is a champion of sameness and mediocrity and unquestioned obedience, a hero to absolutely no one with a functioning soul, the cubicle personified.

***

Are there some similarities? You bet. Like Dubya, the devil desperately wants a grand holy war to settle, once and for all, just who owns the kingdom of heaven. And Satan degenerates horribly in “Paradise Lost,” begins to take the form of many “lowly” animals (a toad, a snake, etc.) as he degrades. Bush, too, has devolved. He started out as a barely tolerable but initially benign political tumor. He has since become dangerous and deadly, a weird strain of Texas mold creeping into the heart of a wary nation.

The devil smells of sulfur and fire. Bush smells of cow pies and stale beer. The devil is wickedly, tremendously deceptive, bending entire armies of lowly demons to his will. Bush cleverly inflamed armies of lemming-like evangelical Christians to vote for him by way of gay bashing and woman bashing and fear, through the snarling machinations of his very own shiny Moloch, Karl Rove. It’s a worthy comparison.

I continue to be amazed by those who view Bush as the most effectively evil leader in this history of mankind (Mao, Hitler, Ghengis Khan? Just pikers), while simultaneously believing him to be moronically stupid. There’s a logical disconnect there that seems to elude those must severely affected with BDS.