A cold day in January 2009
William Katz, a man of many careers, including a long stint on The Tonight Show during the Carson years, was also a comedy writer. He’s been feeding bits and pieces of his memoirs to the guys at Power Line, intermixing old memories with new facts, especially political facts. In a post published today, he remembers one of his first comedy pieces, written in 1968, which was a dialog imagining how Richard Nixon’s oath taking might have gone after the 1968 elections. Rather than reprint that, he decided to take that idea and update it, to a possible oath taking in January 2009:
It is the U.S. Capitol, outdoors. Chief Justice John Roberts rises from his seat and takes his place. The president-elect then stands and faces the chief justice. The presidential spouse places a Bible between them.
CHIEF JUSTICE: Please raise your right hand and repeat after me. I, Hillary Rodham Clinton…
HILLARY: I, Hillary Rodham, and, when I need it, Clinton…
CHIEF JUSTICE: do solemnly swear…
HILLARY: do vaguely commit…
CHIEF JUSTICE: that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States…
HILLARY: that I will be President of the United States, and execute whom I please…
CHIEF JUSTICE: and will, to the best of my ability…
HILLARY: and will, with my charm and cash…
CHIEF JUSTICE: preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States…
HILLARY: get Scalia’s butt off the Supreme Court, followed by yours, pal…
CHIEF JUSTICE: so help me God.
HILLARY: So help me me.
CHIEF JUSTICE: Congratulations.
HILLARY: Now take off the black dress and sit down.
Cannons fire their salute. The Marine band plays “Hail to the Chief.” Bill Clinton cabs to the White House to check the fridge.
You can read here the rest of Katz’s thoughts about political humor and the upcoming elections.
