Comments on: Wasting my time, again

By: ymarsakar

ymarsakar — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 01:37:13 +0000

Children don’t have the authority. As with previous organizations, the children are simply an excuse and a pretext to seize more power. The children won’t be the ones making the decisions, it will be their Regents.

By: Margaret Walter

Margaret Walter — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 08:15:03 +0000

Another example of our current social tendency to give children then “authority” to moderate adult rules, to put children in charge of the adults. Another example of adults alowing the excuse of children’s importance to circumvent their having to take responsiblity for being authoritative and being parents (or teachers.) Why did you fall into this trap?

By: Mike Devx

Mike Devx — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 04:55:12 +0000

This sounds like more of the “empowering the children” philosophy.

You know, that’s the one where adults don’t get to have adult time, because it would remind the children that they’re only children. Children are to be treated as social equals to adults in all situations.

Adult time would also remind the children that they are under their parents’ control, and we mustn’t have THAT!

By: Zabrina

Zabrina — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 23:30:16 +0000

So what would the teacher do if you showed up without your kid–shoot you? Do it. And tell them now you have a good chance to talk honestly, adult to adult. If you wanted to be “nice” you could tell them you’re coming by yourself in advance. With so many parents grumbling about it, this “experiment” may soon end.

By: babbie

babbie — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 20:51:33 +0000

No teacher in his or her right mind would dream up this practice. This wacky idea MUST have come from administration. I do have conferences where the PARENT asks his or her high school student to sit in–for the purpose of confronting the student with reality! It’s not about self-esteem.

By: Bookworm

Bookworm — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 19:20:02 +0000

Marguerite, you’re right as a matter of principle, but Heather is right as a matter of practice. In any event, I already committed the error of grumbling in front of my kid about how silly this was — although I was careful to point out that I fully expected (as I do) to hear only positive things during the conference. The thing is that, if there are negative things, I’m not going to hear them unmediated. Also, what I got from a friend who took a morning conference is that this is all about the kids’ self-esteem — which I view as my responsibility, not the teacher’s. The teacher’s responsibility is to instill self-esteem in the classroom by actually teaching, and making my children feel intelligent and accomplished because they’re learning stuff. And since these teachers actually seem to be doing that this year, I don’t need the dog and pony show.

All I can say is grumble, grumble, grumble.

By: Marguerite

Marguerite — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 18:50:38 +0000

‘In your situation, I would recommend sending your child to wait in the hallway when you are ready to say anything you don’t want him to hear, and save everyone the trouble of a separate conference.’

Why should BW put herself in the position of then being expected to explain on the way home to little BWs (inquiring minds want to know) why they were exiled to the hall? It’s a PARENT-teacher conference!

By: Heather

Heather — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 17:45:45 +0000

Are the teachers behind this? Or is it the administration? Seems wacky. Must be an elementary school thing.

I taught in middle and high school, (where most parents didn’t bother to show up), and often it was helpful to have the child there to sort out those he said/she said issues. More of an older kid thing, I suppose. But we would then send the kid out of the room when it became necessary. We certainly never required a parent to bring a child. Usually the parent wanted to bring the child to make them take responsibility for their actions, learning, and the solution to the problem.

Example conversation:
Parent: So why is Bobby failing your class?
Teacher: Bobby, why do you think you are failing?
Bobby: Uhh, um, I talk too much in class, and don’t pay attention.
Teacher: Yes, that is part of the problem. Also . . .

Anyway, it was amazing how honest some of these VERY difficult kids would be.

In your situation, I would recommend sending your child to wait in the hallway when you are ready to say anything you don’t want him to hear, and save everyone the trouble of a separate conference.