The award for the best opening in any article (at least for today), has to go to Jonah Goldberg:
Is Barack Obama the Messiah?
Before we answer that question, let me vent for a moment. In 2000 I was cruelly denied the Pulitzer despite being the only columnist in America to ask the pressing question: Is Al Gore an alien? The evidence was there for all to see. He was born nine months after the mysterious alien sighting at Roswell, N.M. His weird syntax and verbal rhythms are otherworldly. He often refers to “earth” or “this planet” as if he’s just passing through, and he once angrily complained to the Washington Post that it had printed a picture of the earth from outer space “upside down.”
There is no “upside down” in space — unless Gore had his childhood view in mind.
The rest of the article, detailing Obama’s “Messiah-ness” is almost as good, and I say “almost” only because it’s hard to top an opening like that.