There are a lot of people in Marin braver than I am *UPDATED*

Our local paper wrote a very nice article about Marin’s hidden conservatives.  I feature prominently as one of those who likes to keep my identity secret, but the article also names a lot of people much braver than I am who have gone public.

Part of their bravery stems, I’m sure, from their personalities, but I suspect some of it has to do with being lifelong Republicans (those who were open about their politics before the world went mad).

In my own defense, my secretiveness also has to do with the fact that I now have a huge body of written work, some of it written in more strident terms than I would ever use conversationally.  That is, I’ve created a persona that isn’t the same as the real me, and I don’t like the thought of people approaching me aggressively based upon my writings, rather than socially, based upon my actual, somewhat softer personality.

UPDATEAnother secret Marin conservative just came out of the closet.  If he’s the person I’m pretty sure he is, I’ve known him for years, and can’t say enough good things about him.  He is one of the most decent people I’ve ever met.  It’s so funny to think that we stood side by side on soccer fields for dozens of games and practices without either of us knowing that we both kept the same secret.

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  • Charles Martel

    It will be interesting to see the spew that gets directed at this man in the Marinscope letters to the editor section over the next few days.

    I’ll be surprised if any of the angry, outraged, indignant people who comment on his “coming out” will actually engage his criticisms.

  • 1Lulu

    I live in a blue region of the bluest state. I come from a blue voting demographic. I work in a blue profession under a blue system. If not for my husband transforming along with me- man, it could be lonely. And I too usually opt to keep my mouth shut. Who wants to be moralized to, shouted down, and treated as a pariah, when there is no real possibility of civil dialogue or even having your opinions heard? (The one time I tried recently, I was told that the documented facts I mentioned were “lies”, and the films of such on youtube were “doctored”. Oh, and I got accused of “liking war”.) And I will also say that this woman hounded me. I really didn’t want to engage in this discussion but eventually I had to stand up for my convictions. But she talked, talked, talked. She had no interest in listening at all. It was debate by insult and outshouting. She honestly said that anyone who votes Republican is “stupid”. Who needs this kind of harassment, especially from the truly uninformed and dare I say, stupid people like her?

    The Republican club at the high school is a great idea. There is security in numbers.

    It is truly amazing that the party of tolerance is so completely intolerant of freedom of speech when it is any speech that challenges their agenda or viewpoint.

    Incidentally, I have kept an eye on all the McCain lawn signs in my community as I drive past. They routinely vanish. Not so, for the Obama signs.

  • MV conservative

    Tim Amyx shocked me with his coming out. He is a lot braver than I and very decent. I depend on people liking me to make my living so being honest about politics is out of the question here. Most of my friends have a “feeling” about me though and use the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. I am not really out to convince others to be conservative but am horrified by people that have no problem whatsoever saying things like “if Obama doesn’t win, I am moving to Canada”. Get a life.

  • suek

    >>But she talked, talked, talked. She had no interest in listening at all.>>

    This seems to be the favorite radio and tv method as well…

    If you watch Fox News, you’ll notice that they have it down pat. There are just so many minutes between commercial breaks. If the conservatives don’t get down right rude and just start talking over the libs, the libs will just keep talking until the time runs out. Some of the newer hosts cannot seem to over ride them, more experienced ones so to the extent that that’s annoying as well. If you’re a political representative, apparently you simply cannot be polite and listen to the other person’s position – you have to be rude or they’ll just run out the clock.

    Personally, I’ve wished for one of those debate lights like they have for the Appeal courts on “Law and Order”…the one with a red/yellow/green light. When your time’s up and the light turns red ….ZAP…sound turns off and it’s the other guy’s turn. It’s true that such a system means everything tends to be in sound bytes – that’s a not so good thing – but the alternative seems to mean that one side doesn’t get _any_ “bytes”…

    (is it sound bites or sound bytes?)

  • Blue Eyes

    What ever happened to the genre that “money, politics, sex and religion are to be kept private…..and if one should make a comment about it, be sure to be equipped with correct information because opinions are only opinions…”

    I remember vividly the time I was old enough to vote, the men in our family stated, around the dinner table, which include my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles this, “Now that you are permitted to vote, you need to know that this family is Republican and you are expected to vote as such.” Of course, the women just rolled their eyes, and later told me that they voted for the person who they thought would be the best leader for our country.

    Although I was brought up in a Republican family, I was wise enough to decipher all the contradictory messages that our world gives us, and come election time, I vote for the person that I think is best suited for the position, no matter what party he/she represents. With that said, I have voted across party lines and quite frankly, most of the people I know do the exact same thing. The principle here is that voting is a right that Americans have and a right that I am grateful to exercise.

    Instead of fighting with our fellow Americans about our individual beliefs, our society, our country needs to become more united again. United we stand strong. Not united we stand weak and more vulnerable to threats outside of ourselves, including economic, political, environmental and spiritual. It’s sad to know that such a simple concept has been made to be so complex and far more difficult than in decades past.

    Today’s article on the front page of the Marin IJ called “Secret Republicans” is very interesting. We all know that secrets are not healthy, and can become dysfunctional, but secrets that protect what we believe in should not be secrets to people who believe in us. This just becomes another complex contradiction and pushes people away instead of bringing people together.

    Although the article is appropriate and I am happy to see it on the front page, I am confident that the people who completely disagree with it, will be the ones who will be complaining the most.

  • Bookworm

    Lulu: Those are two great points. First, it helps if those closest to you share your values. Second, it’s impossible to debate with people who deal in personal attacks and ultimate conclusions, and who absolutely and entirely and completely refuse to touch upon facts.

    Yesterday, a friend told me with a gloating laugh about the two Canadian comedians who pretended to be Pres. Sarkozy, and set about humiliating Sarah Palin. I said that the timing was interesting, because the real Pres. Sarkozy had just gone public with his concern that Obama (and I’m paraphrasing because I don’t remember the exact words) is immature or ill-informed or arrogant, or something very close. My friend’s response: “That’s not true.”

    I’m not sure if my friend was saying that it’s not true that Obama is immature, ill-informed and arrogant, or if my friend was saying that it’s impossible that the real French president, as opposed to the fake comedians, could have said something negative like that about Obama, of all people. I think the latter. I didn’t force the issue, but just reminded my friend to Google “Sarkozy and Obama.” That’s the last I heard of it.

  • Tiresias

    I think we have to somehow or other pass a law that requires that if you say it (i.e., Streisand, Alec Baldwin, Sarandon, Robbins, Fey, and millions of unknowns who are going to Canada, et al) then you damn well have to do it.

    After Reagan and both Bush presidencies all these clowns would now be living in Canada, France, or wherever: just so it’s somewhere else; and the normal people in the room wouldn’t have to be continuing to listen to this kind of crap.

    You’re a kindly person, Bookworm: I wouldn’t bother to expend energy on attempting to consider such a nitwit my friend. The more so in the light of the fact that he/she obviously doesn’t value my friendship, unless I’ve got my mind right. I don’t need people like that around me.

  • Deana

    Bookworm –

    I would venture to guess that your liberal friend had no idea of what Pres. Sarkozy has said. In his/her world, that sort of news is not reported. If it is, it is quickly denounced as a lie and then everyone moves on to talk of hope and change and love and flowers.

    Still, it says a lot about that person’s view of reality. They are just so SURE that all of Europe, nay, all of the WORLD, is so excited and supportive of Obama, that they simply are unable to believe evidence to the contrary.

    It’s a little like Ozzie said in another thread: the only thing that MIGHT change her mind is if we discovered that Obama is a vampire with a taste for small children.

    I loved how she used the word “might.”

    Facts and evidence are absolutely not necessary in their world. And if you DO use them, you get to pick and choose them.


  • Charles Martel

    Many of my liberal friends carry some heavy baggage.

    One is a very witty Jewish guy whose atheist father one-upped him all the time he was growing up. My friend accepted his dad’s village idiot-level atheism but never questioned the source. He constantly refers to the New York Times as though it’s the Bible.

    His wife is a former Catholic who, I believe, lost her faith when her brother died in a plane crash years ago. She is a sweet, charitable person, but believes, like her husband, that life has no ultimate purpose.

    Another of my friends, who has a Ph.D. behind his name, has plunged into the environment and global warming as his religion (his Unitarianism just wasn’t doing it for him, I guess). I don’t have any real problem with that except that those causes have become the prism through which he views everything. And his views are almost always dismissive and judgmental.

    A man I used to be close to—he’s more of an acquaintance now—has decided that the Catholic Church is the source of all evil in the world. When I question him about what he really knows about such matters as the Inquisition and the Crusades, it’s obvious that he both doesn’t know much (ignorance) and doesn’t care to know much (nescience).

    If I were perfect, I could war against these misguided louts with no qualms :). But I’m not. I stink in my own ways as much as some of the malodiferous ideas I contend against.

    However, I will not concede Marin to the Little Socialists. Even a racist, sexist, uneducated, homophobic, evil, warmongering greedhead like me has a right to beauty!

  • Deana

    Blue Eyes –

    You said: Instead of fighting with our fellow Americans about our individual beliefs, our society, our country needs to become more united again. United we stand strong.

    I completely understand your point and wish like the dickens that we could be like that.

    However, achieving that would require that more of us share the same values, vision and goals for America. That is no longer possible.

    I share nothing in common with people who:

    – believe that America is one of the greatest forces of evil in the world
    – believe that America is greedy
    – are physically incapable of saying one positive thing about this country without the inevitable, “but”
    – no longer believe that our quest for equality is supposed to be based on opportunity, not outcomes
    – demonize those who have worked hard and been successful (and please know, for whatever it is worth, that I am quite poor right now)
    – believe that it is ok to mock, belittle, and tear at our military and then turn around and weaken it
    – no longer believe that America should defend itself and are utterly incapable of recognizing actual threats to America

    I could go on and on but you get the point.

    There are still Americans with whom I do not agree on many policy issues who I KNOW still love America and want to make America the best it can be. These are NOT the people I’m refering to here.

    The people I am talking about are those Americans who get violently upset about being accused of not supporting America and wanting to ensure that it remains the most amazing country that the world has ever seen. They puff up, get all righteously indignant, and say, “How dare you . . . ”

    But if I close my eyes and just listen to them, I don’t hear a lot of “love” or “respect” in their voice. There is sharpness, vitriol, and often disgust.

    That is not how someone talks about someone they love. If I didn’t know better, I would think they were talking about an ex.


  • Bookworm

    Charles: I agree with you. Unless you want to go through life as one of those very angry people whose car becomes a bulletin board for bizarre political bumper stickers (and we see a lot of those in Marin), at some point you just have to accept people as they are, and hope that you can slowly trickle facts and reasoned analysis into their brains, without directly attacking their core beliefs. The fact is, it never works to attack core beliefs, because those are the areas in which people are best defended. It’s hard, though, to apply verbal judo to every interaction.

  • Charles Martel


    “That is not how someone talks about someone they love. If I didn’t know better, I would think they were talking about an ex.”

    That is probably one of the most spot-on observations I’ve ever read.

    It would be fascinating to hear people who have come to despise this country tell how they got to be that way.

  • suek

    >>It would be fascinating to hear people who have come to despise this country tell how they got to be that way.>>

    Especially since most have never lived anywhere else. They may have visited – stayed at the AAA approved hotels, eaten in the AAA approved restaurants – but never _lived_ there. Never really lived under their laws, earned what they earned, paid taxes like the natives paid taxes. Probably don’t speak any language other than English – which isn’t perhaps a biggie, but there’s more than just words to be learned from another language. For example, the constant battle the French have to remove non-French words from their newspapers, business and even schools. They don’t have French words for modern technology, you see, but it offends them that they don’t so they have to both eliminate the use of the new “thing” word which is probably English and at the same time sell the use of a newly minted French word. If a language doesn’t have a word for a “thing”, it probably doesn’t _have_ that “thing”.

    I suspect Blue Eyes is a driveby…another “I’m a lifelong Republican but this time I’m voting for Obama”. “I’m a believer in all things conservative, but this time I’m voting for the most extremely left candidate in the Congress”


  • Charles Martel

    Hi, suek:

    It is interesting how so many America despisers look upon Europe as the paragon our crappy country should aspire to.

    They are so taken by the boulevardier lifestyle — you know, whiling away the hours sucking up lattes, eating the freshest pains and pastas, watching the “colorful” Muslim workers walk by, not to mention those six-week vacations and full frontal nudity on TV!

    I’ve asked those of them who are my friends if they consider Europe to be a sort of secular paradise, and almost all of them have answered yes.

    Then I’ve asked them a question that they not only couldn’t answer but had obviously never occurred to them:

    If Europe is so great, how come people don’t want to share it with children? Isn’t your first instinct when you live in a great place to want to pass it on to children?

  • Deana

    Charles –

    Thank you for the compliment.

    Bookworm has so many wonderful contributors – her site is by far my favorite blog. I’m delighted that you have joined. I’m really enjoying your insights.

    Regardless of what happens this week, I hope we can have a discussion on what we conservatives can do to start promoting conservative candidates at the local level. I’m moving to Chicago in December and conservative candidates there are as scarce as hen’s teeth so I’m more than willing to start supporting candidates elsewhere.

    Is there a site somewhere that is sort of a national clearinghouse of who is running and where?

    This is something that has been on my mind recently. I’m willing to work – just don’t know where to start.


  • suek

    >>Is there a site somewhere that is sort of a national clearinghouse of who is running and where?>>

    That might be a good project…to try to locate a single source of solid conservative info. It might be a blog, or it might be a political site. I started out looking for that sort of place a couple of years ago, but the political landscape got sort of cut and dried very quickly, and I stopped looking.

    I agree, though. I’m in California. I expect a viable conservative candidate who can possibly defeat Feinstein and/or Boxer about whe hell freezes over, so about the only way I can do anything is to support a conservative candidate somewhere else in the Union.

    Over the next 10 years or so, I expect the Iraq War is going to have a greater influence on politics than it has even in the last 5 – you have a whole bunch of fairly young men (and a few women) who have had intense leadership training, who see what happens when you have corrupt government, and they’re coming home to a political environment that has not supported them and which has succeeded in corrupting the basic values of the country they’ve fought for, and have friends who have died for. I think they will be the new leaders. Some will fall to corruption, but some will be outstanding.

  • Charlie (Colorado)

    A local artist friend of mine saw my appearance on Fox News and sent me an email — she said, basically, “I hate to ask, but are you, well, a conservative? It’s okay to tell me, I am too. I just don’t tell people very often.”

  • Deana

    suek –

    You know, I hadn’t thought about that – the effect of thousands of men and women who have been in service overseas and what they might do when they get back.

    I actually am fairly upbeat about things – rather inexplicably so, because I don’t think McCain will win. (I’m still voting, though!) But I know a lot can be done and nothing will benefit conservative causes like an Obama win!


  • bayareavoter

    I was pleasantly surprised by the article in today’s IJ.

    We are lifelong Dems who voted for Hillary in the primary and who have early-voted for McCain/Palin and can’t tell anyone! I have tried to convince family and friends not to vote for Obama without any success. I’m embarrassed and angry about what the Dems have become this year–mean and vitriolic.

    Glad I found your blog. I also hang out at There are a lot of PUMAS, Republicans and Democrats for McCain.