They are the same thing. Women are hard wired to find stable partners that can support them when pregnant and with children. That means they need a father that is worth a damn and can provide for the family.

Hrm, half the reason Clinton and all the other wives “stood by their man” was probably because their “man” had provided them the bacon for so long. They believed nobody else could provide them near as much, certainly not bribes from reporters wanting the “real scoop”.

Proof of the ultra-materialistic culture we live in!

I like to think that some women have the hots for their guy because, over and over, he proves he can do anything and fix anything around the house. Proving his ultra-competence in that arena rather than just the arena of the high dollar figure.

But the vast majority of us are captives of the cultural miasma in which we swim. Glory to those who can break free and see through their own unprogrammed eyes!

Ah. So sad to hear you have lost your faith. But I believe 4 years of Obama will restore your faith in his humanity.

Now Y. That’s _negative_ selection. Choice of a mate is a _positive_ selection.

Besides…have you seen what happens to a breed of dogs when they become the most popular breed? If you knew what you were doing, positive selection might be a benefit, but the fact is that circumstances are always changing, and we humans don’t really know what the heck we’re doing.

I definitely accept your better and broader experience with those from European cultures. If your evidence suggests that they widely suffer from the same negative effects of casual sex that we do, I am on board with you.

Back around ’92 or ’93, I experimented with casual sex to figure out what this gay thing in me meant. That meant six events over a year and a half – which qualified as quite a lot of “casual” for me at least, if not for others. I label it casual primarily because there was no emotional quality nor commitment to it at all – and that was enough to leave me feeling dispirited and crushed over the meaninglessness of the casualness of it. It left me feeling utterly cheapened. I knew then that a deep emotional commitment was an absolute requirement of mine, and anything casual was simply out because it was too destructive to my spirit.

I haven’t found anyone yet to share that deep emotional commitment that I require, and if that leaves me to live the life of a celibate monk, then so be it. I’m at peace. I won’t recommend it as ‘The Way’, since I may be blessed with a much lower libido that makes my kind of life peaceful and rewarding compared to someone else whose libido would leave them frustrated. (I say “blessed”, because it allows me to easily live my life in accordance with my convictions.) It works for me. I simply won’t accept a substitute for a real thing, when the substitute harms me psychologically. For me it’s a very easy call.

I might have a different take on things if I spent every day in a maelstrom of sexual frustration. (“Gotta have it, gotta have it, gotta have it NOW, this itch is driving me CRAZY!”) I don’t know.

Survival of the fittest. Females mate with successful males. In other species, the males do physical battle in order to mate or find favor with the females. In humans, the contest is some sort of measurable success – the type depends on the culture. In ours, it’s usually financial success. It seems to me that men who are successful have a strong competitive drive, not necessarily a love of money. The more drive, the greater the success, and the more likely a woman will be drawn to them. Then the stupid women short circuit the whole thing by using birth control or having an abortion. So much for survival!

There’s “freedom” for ya. People claim we are free, but we are not, really. We are still tied to our ancient evolutionary instincts and behavioral patterns developed over millions of years. This is not freedom, but it can be an opportunity to acquire freedom.

If you come home from work and tell your wife you got a big promotion, she is much more likely to want sex with you that night–and infinitely more likely to have an orgasm–than if you tell her you lost out on the promotion. This is her automatic success-recognition circuitry at work.

- A man’s desire for sex can be more easily satisfied. This reduces his sexual frustration, and increases his happiness.

- Men often get trapped into bad marriages. Their wives, having achieved their desired marital and maternal status, stop caring about their husbands’ needs, while maintaining a parasitic relationship with their husbands’ status as provider. When sex is more easily available to men, women’s ability to entrap men into marriage is decreased, reducing male marital devastation.

From a male perspective, hooking up may be a healthier alternative than commitment. If the choice is then between male happiness and female happiness, why should men care more about the latter?