“The vitreous humor from Hell!” This, and the Pelosi haikus, were scintillating!

Pelosi: “Send him in.”

Mr. G, a squat, Italian-looking man with gray hair and a large white moustache, enters Rep. Pelosi’s office.

Pelosi: “Did you find an answer?”

Mr. G.: “Well, yes and no, Your Honoraciousness.”

Pelosi: “Please, I’m in no mood for ambiguity. Time is too short. Did you or didn’t you find a way to keep people from knowing I’m telling a lie?”

Mr. G.: “=Sigh= How to explain, Your Honoricity? These things are so complicated. You are aware of the Law of Karma?”

Pelosi (her saucer-shaped eyes flashing): “Damn, I’m going to get a lesson in theology from a broken-down marionette maker? Believe me, getting the pointy-fingered lecture from His Nazi-ness in the Vatican was bad enough. Just make your frickin’ point.”

Mr. G.: “What I’m getting at, Your Honorette, is that there is simply no way in the universe that we can totally eliminate some bodily indication that you are telling a lie. I certainly tried with Pinocchio, but in the end the Law of Karma manifested itself with his ever-elongating nose.”

Pelosi: “There is no way, then?”

Mr. G.: “Well, I have learned a lot in the intervening years. After reading your Saul Alinsky, I believe we might be able to use misdirection to keep people from knowing that you are telling a lie.”

Pelosi: “How?”

Mr. G.: “Well, everybody knows that you have a naturally large set of eyes, what we Italians call ‘Il cervo in gli abbagliante’—how you say, ‘like a Bambi in the automobile candles?’ Anyway, people expect you to have oversize eyes, so they won’t look there for signs you’re lying.”

Pelosi: “How can you be sure?”

Mr. G.: “Well, although your lying eyes might get a bit bigger, they certainly aren’t going to spill out of your sockets. So, I’ve redirected your karmic energy to them. Who will possibly be the wiser?”

Pelosi (glancing at watch): “You’d better be right, Mr. Gepetto. My courier will deliver your fee later today. Now, thank you and goodbye.”

FLASH BULLETIN FROM NBC NEWS, 2:11 p.m. EDT, Tuesday, May 19:

At least three journalists are reported dead after a mysterious substance, which one witness described as “the eyeball from Hell” erupted 10 minutes ago at a news conference by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. Details to come.

EMERGENCY BULLETIN FROM HOMELAND SECURITY, 3:05 p.m. EDT, Tuesday, May 19:

Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano has declared a “city-wide alert” in Washington, DC, after ordering federal marshals to set up a defensive perimeter along Pennsylvania Avenue to contain what one scientist from the Smithsonian Institute described as “the vitreous humor from Hell.”

AP BULLETIN, 3:43 P.M., EDT, Tuesday, May 19: OBAMA ORDERS OUT ARMY TROOPS TO CONTAIN “GIANT MUTANT EYEBALL”

President Obama has ordered 40,000 Army troops to Washington, DC, to cordon off the White House to protect it against what some scientists are calling “a giant mutated eyeball” that apparently is expanding so rapidly it is doubling its size every 30 minutes.

Ground Zero for the gigantic orb, described as having “a deer in the headlights look” by eyewitnesses, apparently was a press conference held by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) in which she denied again having any knowledge of CIA briefings in 2002 on the topic of waterboarding.

MSNBC BULLETIN, 4:27 P.M., EDT, Tuesday, May 19: GENERAL MOTORS RIDES TO PRESIDENTIAL RESCUE, THWARTS GIANT EYEBALL ASSAULT ON OBAMA

A fleet of GMC buses driven by United Auto Workers rode to the rescue of beleaguered President Barack Obama this afternoon when they drove over a giant mutant eyeball that was surrounding the White House. The organ has been identified as originating with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.

The drivers rolled over the eyeball’s tissue as Secret Service agents, wielding giant axes, chopped at the mutant orb and tossed pieces of it under their buses.

Obama knows that Pelosi’s stupidity will be her undoing sooner or later. In the meantime, why not ride the skank horse until it drops?

Perhaps. Or maybe Obama can play her like a violin. Example: the “stimulus” budget.
My guess is that Pelosi had a big hand in the crafting of that 800+ page bill. Signed, sealed, delivered to Obama in record time. While I once thought that Pelosi and Congress had played Obama for a fool in delivering such an unwieldy monster, I am now of the opinion that is precisely what he wanted. Anything to increase spending, debt, and government power. In that sense, Pelosi and Congress delivered as requested.

1. I rejoice that the Skank Empress has finally run into a disruption in the space-time continuum that even botox can’t repair;

2. Yet I know that Pelosi is a counterbalance to our Marxist nancy boy president’s grab for total power.

So, right now I feel right now like the Faye Dunaway character in “Chinatown” whom Jack Nicholson keeps bitch slapping around because she’s of two minds about her relationship to her daughter/sister.

Martel: “She’s a skank, ptui!”

=SLAP=

Martel: “She’s my savior, viva!”

=SLAP=

Martel: “She’s a skank, ptui!”

=SLAP=

Martel: “She’s my savior, viva!”

Etc.

Not at all sure that he does. How do you think he’d manage that?

So what this tends to mean is that the FBI’s corruption differs only from the CIA corruption in that the FBI didn’t go the way Hoover wanted it to after he died because of Nixon. And because the FBI served a far more concrete goal, something that you could prove worked or not. The CIA could not prove their methods, for in exposing them, it would destroy them, assuming they had any human intel.

The CIA leaks, not generally Presidential domestic affairs or what not, because they are not entrusted with such. Unlike Deepthroat’s FBI angst at not getting his wanted promotion from Nixon, the CIa can only leak foreign intel data, not domestic spying.

But in the end, it mattered not whether Deepthroat was CIA or FBI. Because that’s the ideal the CIA wishes to have. And they have benefited from this only because the Presidents they fated were not ruthless enough to destroy the country and fauk up national security solely to get the CIA> Nixon wasn’t. Bush wasn’t. Obama? Heh.

It depends on who is more ruthless. Bush wasn’t. But Obama? He would execute a million children, not even including those executions he funds in Africa and Mexico?

You think he won’t have what it takes to eliminate the CIA? The CIA are full of electronic pansies, btw. They who fight from the shadow against the President. Full of Deep Throat wannabes, traitors, and cowards. Unable to protect the nation they swore to protect, they seek to acquire calculated advantage in their careers on the justification that bureaucrats have the true expertise to run things, not the elected representatives of America. Thus they used the media to take down Nixon. Thus they used anything and anyone to prop up government jobs, their jobs. The fact that Jimmy Carter and Clinton gutted the CIA impacts them little, for like all government bureaucracies so long as their bread is buttered, and the Democrats are the best party to go for if you want guaranteed benefits at tax payer expense, it doesn’t matter to them how much America is endangered.

This is the reality of the CIA, as they made themselves to be. The good left, the corrupt stayed. Exactly the same in the Democrat party. The good were exiled and destroyed, because they threatened the power of the fakes, the traitors, and the incompetents in the CIA. Same is true for Democrats, as we have already seen with the ejection of Lieberman, Reagan, Zell, Neo, Book, etc.

They will run you out of town on the rail road, tarred and feathered. Because their game is the only game that they will allow to be played. And it doesn’t really matter to them who the Islamics are killing and raping. It ain’t going to be them, so it is going to be okay. What’s really important is themselves and their political allies.