Just how bad is the economy?

Don Quixote forwarded me an email that perfectly explains just how bad the economy is:

Just how bad IS the economy?

The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

It’s so bad, I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the counter asked, “Can you afford fries and a shake with that?”

The economy is so bad that CEOs are now playing miniature golf.

The economy is so bad if the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

The economy is so bad Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

The economy is so bad McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

The economy is so bad parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.

The economy is so bad a truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

The economy is so bad Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

The economy is so bad Motel Six won’t leave the light on anymore.

The economy is so bad the Mafia is laying off judges.

The economy is so bad Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

And finally…

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

Fight organized crime: Re-elect no one!!!

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  • suek

    Heh!

    Terrific. We have a rep who visits weekly…she brings funny stuff (though she doesn’t play fair – she’s on a list for her funnies!) and I try to find stuff to give _her_. This one definitely makes the cut!

    She’s from Canada, by the way – and seems to have no intention of returning, although she has a green card. I guess there’s no limit on staying in the US if you have a green card? No time requirement to fish or cut bait? I don’t know….

  • suek
  • Gringo

    Good jokes, DQ. I think my favorite was about Dick Cheney’s stockbroker. A good joke about one of our best VPs.

    From the oil bust of the 1980s, which affected different areas of the country in different ways.
    1)Things were so bad in Houston that all the girls in houses of ill repute were virgins.
    2) Q: What company is the biggest employer of petroleum engineers?
    S. Sears Roebuck.

    From Argentina. An electrical engineering graduate couldn’t get an entry level job in his profession, so he became a lion tamer in the circus. The first time he faced a lion in the ring he was scared to death, until he heard the lion say to him, “Don’t worry. I’m an electrical engineer, too.”

    It is interesting that Ford’s sales have gone down only about 5%, whereas the government bailout auto companies have had their sales go down about 40%. That’s a spontaneous mass boycott. No need to get Van Jones’s buddies behind this boycott.

    The biggest joke in the country is a humorless,pompous self-righteous narcissist whose idea of self-deprecating humor is to say that he thinks too highly of himself. Or find it humorous to silently but very visibly give the finger to someone. Really funny. Unfortunately,the joke’s on us.

  • JKB

    The economy is so bad the income Obama appointees have failed to pay taxes on is down 50%.

    The economy is so bad the young voters who bought into Hope and Change have switched over to Hope for some Change.

    The economy is so bad Hollywood is having to make movies people actually want to watch.

  • Mike Devx

    > The economy is so bad Hollywood is having to make movies people actually want to watch.

    JKB, that’s a very good one!

    The economy is so bad that Obama wants to shut down only HALF the coal industry in West Virginia.

    The economy is so bad that we breathe a sigh of relief and say “Whew, only 100,000 jobs were lost last month.” But that’s before Obama shutting down HALF the coal industry in West Virginia throws another 200,000 out on their asses.

    Not funny.
    I know.