• http://ymarsakar.wordpress.com Ymarsakar

    Your children are teenagers already? How come, last time I checked a few years ago they were like screaming eagles flying around the pool area or something.
    Girls are more sensitive to social pressure and the body language nuances of both cultural and personal influences. For me, I found something to do over the years that drove me internally. This internal drive was entirely self-contained. It wasn’t due to external influences. In that sense it fought external influences that got in the way. And external influences that conflicted with the internal drive I had, then generated friction and gave me motivation to defeat the external pressure in any way possible.
    To me it was very simple. To get what I wanted, I needed to fulfill the requirements. So if I wanted to figure out why lies were more effective than truth, when society says truth is better, then I’d have to figure this out using both analysis and other people’s experiences.
    If I wanted justice done, I had to become stronger. To become stronger, one needed to break the shackles that bound us to goals not to our interest or benefit. It was not going to work out well to rely upon or obey the whims of others, when the whims of others will not further my goal.
    Things become very simple when you have an internal drive that you can’t simply turn off or appease with ice cream and cookies. I couldn’t convince myself to stop, even when I tried to. Things were very simple and very hard at the same time. Many different sources attempted to convince me that violence was never the solution. And just as many sources told me that evil used violence quite well to solve problems that good people put in their path. It was an irreconcilable conflict. Inconsistency. It could not both be true. Yet there was no blade to cut the Gordian Knot and tie things up in a neat bundle either.
    So instead of trying to batter the two sides together until one gave way (that never happened) I came up with something that reconciled the differences in those two beliefs. I won’t mention the long list of experiences and events that led to this, but suffice it to say that the conclusion ended up being very short.
    Only those who know how to kill can afford to be pacifists.
    Compassion and mercy are the privileges of the strong.
    If your daughter wishes to succeed at creating her own future, she will need an internal drive powerful enough to defeat all the negative external influences combined. She will need that as fuel if she wishes to continue her journey in life. What does she believe that is stronger than all the peer pressure in the world? For each person what they believe in is different. Nor is it a static element. But fundamentally there is always something, a preference if you will, for an ideal or goal that even the young have. Jobs, professionals, and the goals of children are never concrete. They are always based upon a vision of beauty, of the ideal, that they have a hard time putting into words. They see something they wish to aspire to and then they give it concrete form in the manner of a job or profession. But it remains to be seen whether the more mature version of themselves will continue to believe. Such things do change. But other times, when the vision is true and consistent with the concrete, it does not change.
    Btw, one sure fire way to defeat external influences is to simply overpower them. If you know how to defeat such physically and mentally, it is much easier to make decisions for yourself rather than being pushed into making them. The arts of manipulation, combat, verbal attack, propaganda, visual deception, are all available if she wishes to learn it.
    This is a relative secret that boys tend to understand intuitively. The truer something is, the more powerful it is. Thus the truth, if it is true, is required to defeat the lie. And that’s metaphysically true, but it often doesn’t appear to happen that way in reality. The conflict then causes disbelief and disharmony amongst humans that are easily led astray. A sure fire way to rate who is better is simply the social contest. And there are specific techniques developed through the entirety of human history to manage such affairs. But humans are stupid right now. They don’t follow strength. Often they follow weakness. The leader of theirs is just slightly less weak than the rest of them, in that he covers it up with anger and anger leads people to follow them because they mistake it for confidence and intuitive decisiveness. Amongst the teenage crowd, is rather pronounced. Humans, though, learn like moneys. They prefer examples to words or abstract speech. They learn leadership from seeing how a real leader acts. But if they don’t have anybody to learn from, they then learn from the weak or simply the evil.
    This is how kids who grew up under abusive parents, then become abusive parents. It’s called a cycle. To break that cycle, you need to introduce enough power, Book, that gives your daughter the ability not simply the desire to fight off all invaders.

  • http://ymarsakar.wordpress.com Ymarsakar

    Self-control is never an end in itself. People are not motivated to become self-disciplined because others tell them to.
    People obtain self-discipline because they WANT something really bad, Book. They want it so much that they are willing to do what it takes. And if doing what it takes requires that they control themselves, then that is what they will do.
    But the problem always exists in who they are going to listen. Because they have no real foundation to determine what is true or false, what is strong or weak, what is good or evil, they tend to be impressionable and listen to others that sound like they know.
    But as you noted, that means she listens to you… but she also listens to a bunch of other people when you aren’t around. So basically she needs to find something she wants badly enough, that she will stop listening to the negative freaks of the world. But that doesn’t mean she then listens to you. What it really means is that she listens to herself. To the internal belief and drive that she is going towards. And that will tell her what is necessary or helpful in achieving her goal.
    Some people develop an internal compass earlier. Some people never do. And others only develop it after college or something. Interestingly enough.

  • Charles Martel

    Book, you’ve touched on something that I think teens crave to hear, namely, that they are called to be higher, better versions of themselves. The ones who take that call seriously are the ones you see trying to get into the military academies or hoping to enroll in colleges that have robust curricula.

    I remember how popular John Paul II was with young people, how he would fill squares with hundreds of thousands of them eager to hear him call them as no political leader or cultural idol ever could to a life of loving service. He never pandered to their lusts or genitalia; he appealed to their hearts and the deep desire that almost all youths have to make a meaningful contribution.

    Teach your daughter to see the insult and contempt—and the veiled manipulation—contained in the assertion that “You’re a teenager, of course you’re going to be in perpetual snit!” Not only is she being told that she is helpless and incapable, she is being set up to never reach adulthood. In short, perfect fodder for membership in the Democratic Party.

  • http://xtnyoda.blogspot.com/ chuck aka xtnyoda

    Maturity… for all humans regardless of age… is determined by how well one responds to proper authority in their lives.
    The pop culture… or any other culture… that teaches children otherwise… or any adult for that matter… is leading people down the path of self-indulgence.
    It is not a good path.

  • http://ymarsakar.wordpress.com Ymarsakar

    A Japanese story I read translated into English was about a country that had no jails nor death penalty for crimes. Instead, they had prohibitions that put an obligation upon an offender. The offender gets to live his or her normal live, so long as they follow their obligation. If they break it, they will likely be sent to a concentration camp with other offenders, removed entirely from normal society.
    There was one Prohibition that relates to this subject matter. The Prohibition of Never Becoming an Adult.
    This prohibition obligated the criminal from always following the orders of his or her parents. A life lived without having to make any decisions for yourself is exactly the same as a life lived simply pursuing one’s hedonistic desires. The Left claims that people will become adults or more powerful if they disobey their parents. But a person becomes an adult only when they assume responsibilities and starts making decisions using their own judgment. Following hedonistic pleasures of the body, is simply listening to another authority. Instinct.

  • http://ymarsakar.wordpress.com Ymarsakar

    If you can get her hooked on watching anime, Book, there’s a lot of anime out there that provide a mature look on character development, support family values and integrity, and also appeal to popular trends.
    I’m not sure how much of the market has been penetrated by Toonami or Cartoon Network license products, but FunAnimation is doing a good job licensing Japanese shows for the US region.
    I always wondered why Toonami or Adult Swim was shown after midnight almost. It was really annoying to me when I was younger. Now I realize that it was expressly because several themes found in Japanese works would be classified by feminists as politically incorrect and by tv ratings as being not for children.

  • http://ymarsakar.wordpress.com Ymarsakar

    Btw, anybody that likes blood filled violence on the Chicago streets during prohibition and want to see a thrilling plot come together about immortality, watch Baccano licensed and published by Fun Animation.
    It was amazing. It was amazing even though I’ve seen a lot of violence, whether real or fictional. It was just good.
    Your kids may not be ready for it yet, but I promise you that it’d suck their attention in regardless of age.

  • http://ymarsakar.wordpress.com Ymarsakar

    P.S. I forgot to mention that Baccano has a really good and authentic English language version. Unlike other English localization efforts I have seen, Fun Animation put the time and effort into making it feel authentic and not stilted. Btw if you ever see a dub from Bang Zoom, run away.

  • 11B40

    One of my current but somewhat cynical witticisms is that we, as a people and a culture, have lost or ability to tell ourselves no. This is corollary to my dear old dad’s axiom that, “You’ll never be a man, boy-o, until you learn how to tell yourself ‘No.’ “.