Is this the best “Klavan on the Culture” ever? Could be.

You decide:

Believe it or, the following gripping (or do I mean groping?) narrative is related to some aspects of the video you just watched:

He grasped me firmly, but gently, just above my elbow and guided me into a room, his room. Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone. He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice, close to my ear. “Just relax,” he said.

Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing and moving upward along my calves, slowly, but steadily.

My breath caught in my throat. I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn’t care. His touch was so experienced, so sure. When his hands moved up onto my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and I partly closed my eyes. My pulse was pounding. I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage. And then, as he cupped my firm, full breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply. Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, he brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine and into my panties.

Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and expectant. This is a man, I thought. A man used to taking charge. A man not used to taking “no” for an answer. A man who would tell me what he wanted. A man who would look into my soul and say…

“Okay, ma’am,” said a voice. “All done.” My eyes snapped open and he was standing in front of me, smiling, holding out my purse. “You can board your flight now.”

Hat tip:  Bruce Kesler, who sent it to me.

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  • suek

    Heh.  I saw that one coming – but it’s still pretty funny!
     
    Here’s another…not nearly as subtle (well, subtle probably isn’t the right word…artful, maybe?) but still about as wry and funny:
    http://directorblue.blogspot.com/2010/12/year-we-missed-christmas.html

  • FunkyPhD

    Yeah.  It’s the best KOTC ever, and that’s saying something.

  • http://ymarsakar.wordpress.com Ymarsakar

    Klavan used to be part of the Leftist Hollywood circle, did he not.

  • http://photoncourier.blogspot.com David Foster

    Speaking of Klavan, I highly recommend his novel “True Crime,” which is about the most hackneyed story imaginable…cynical reporter strives to save innocent man from execution. But he does it brilliantly..And I don’t usually like crime/mystery type fiction.

  • Mike Devx

    I’ve read Klavan’s first book in his Homelander series for teenagers, and I can highly recommend it (for teenagers).  It’s chock full of great moral decisions by the heroic lead teenage character.  I’m actually looking forward to finishing the series myself.  Klavan’s definitely one of the good guys, great guys.