Feminism in a nutshell

Sometimes a post just nails things at every level and explains so much.  That’s the case with a Front Page Magazine article about feminism and Marxism.  I especially loved this:

Phyllis Schlafly​, who has spent a lifetime pointing out liberal hypocrisy on issues of gender, says that it’s no wonder liberal women think men are pigs: Their men are pigs.

Well, yes, absolutely.  There are no greater sexists than liberal men who pay lip service to women’s equality because they’ve figured out that it’s an easy way to get extra labor and easy sex.  At a very fundamental level, too many liberal men don’t seem to like women very much or to respect them at all.

Years ago, when I first started blogging, I commented on the fact that conservative men, especially Christian conservative men, genuinely seem to like their wives.  That struck me as odd, because it’s not something I see moving in liberal circles.  Sure there are love matches around me but, for the most part, the men and women in my world resent each other more than they respect each other.  Even if the conservative men are lying about their feelings towards their wives, at least they subscribe to the notion that you ought to love and respect your spouse.  Liberals no longer seem to make the effort.

I think a lot of it has to do with competitive martyrdom.  When the man in a marriage served his wife by making money, and the wife in a marriage served her husband by having children and keeping the house, they weren’t competing.  Instead, they were both contributing.  Even in my parents’ marriage, when my mother had to work because there was no money, my Dad felt terrible that she had to make the sacrifice.  He deeply appreciated the work she did on the family’s behalf and therefore helped out around the house as much as possible to offset the fact that he wasn’t earning enough so that she could play her role and only her role in the marriage.

In modern liberal marriages, though, both partners are expected to bring in money.  This works right up until the children come along.  Then, the woman’s at-home workload skyrockets exponentially.  The men, contrary to their feminist mouthings, do not help out as much.  Aside from the fact that the children want Mommy, the men aren’t going to cook or do laundry or do anything but the basics.  (I know exceptions, but this is the rule in my world.)  The women become terribly resentful that, suddenly, they have two full time jobs.  After terrible fights, the women cut back on work or quit it entirely — at which time the men become terribly resentful that they have to go into the office, while the women get to lollygag around the house with the children.  Of course, both parties have hard jobs, but neither can admit that, for fear of falling into a one-down position in the martyrdom competition.  This is not a recipe for happy relationships.

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  • Caped Crusader

    My wife takes great offense being called a feminist, and sets anyone straight who calls her a feminist, that she is a “pioneer” and to never call her a feminist again, since she feels feminists are man hating bitches who are always unhappy and nagging and she likes men and is happy to be a woman. This arises since my wife also went to medical school in the 1950’s, and there was “the girl” in the class or none at all. In that era women were strongly advised that they did not belong in med school and should be nurses instead. Everything that could be done to discourage women was done, but my wife refused to listen to that advice. She had worked with an uncle in her teen years seeing all aspects of medicine in rural Virginia and was better prepared than most men as to what was expected of her in medical school. Although women were few in number in that era’s classes, I do not know of a single woman who had the qualifications failing to be admitted if they had the determination and grit to stick it out. She was well accepted by her class, didn’t expect or receive any special treatment, and has a great sense of humor and can give and take with any group of men. She was behind me in school and was also the best looking girl in school. Medical school is physically and mentally demanding and is similar to 4 years of seal training since you must work sometimes 2-3 days w/o sleep and in a high stress environment. The “girl” in my class was a Marine and is still a good friend. We have had over 50 years of a great marriage, and yes I am a pretty good cook and know how to do laundry and coach baseball.

  • suek

    As an add on:
    If you haven’t read “Who Stole Feminism”, you (and she) should.  It’s a very interesting tale of the migration from the original Feminists – the “equal pay for equal work” feminists – to the “feminazis” of today.  The motivating factors…the how and why of the change.
    Author is Christina Hoff Sommers.  She has a couple of others out there that are probably worthwhile (The War against Boys) but I haven’t read them.  Yet.  Christmas is coming!  I’m building a list of books I’d love to own…just to give my family a choice when they say “What do you want for Christmas”…

  • http://bookwormroom.com Bookworm

    Suek, that’s one of my most favorite books ever, and certainly one of the major stepping stones in my journey across the Rubicon from Left to Right.  You’re right that everyone should read it.  It’s not only brilliant, it’s easy and enjoyable.

  • Charles Martel

    As I’m hunting and pecking this entry, I’m looking five feet across the way at my bookshelf, where “Who Stole Feminism?” has had a prominent perch for years. I make sure to move it (and a couple of other faves) as close as I can to the dining room table whenever we have liberal friends over for dinner and cards. A damned good book that’s all that Book says it is.