John Hinderaker caught a very funny statement from Jen Psaki, who is one of the president’s official spokesmen. She was responding to a reporter’s question regarding the fact that PBS asked the Democrats to take down an add using Big Bird (emphasis mine):
We have received that request [from PBS]. We’re reviewing it. I will say it doesn’t change the fact that there’s only one candidate in this race who is going to continue to fight for Big Bird and Elmo, and he is riding on this plane.
You can just see the great minds of the Democrat party meeting to put together a checklist of ordinary voter concerns that they should be addressing.
Meeting Chairman: Okay, folks. It’s time to get to work. With the president having tanked in his first debate, and the very real risk that Joe will implode in his only debate, we’ve got to get the president ready to talk about things that really matter to the American people. I’m going to open the floor to suggestions:
Twenty-something young man: Uh, what about young people’s concern about the deficit that they’ll have to pay for?
Chairman: Not going to happen, We know they’re not thinking about that. They just want sex, booze, and subsidies. We’ve already tapped Hollywood to remind the demographic that the President is cool, and that he’s got their backs.
Thirty-something young woman: The President needs to tell womyn that he’ll make sure that they get free birth control and abortions, as well as unrestricted access to tampons (which should be free too).
Chairman: Again, not going to happen, Sandra. Our internal polling shows that the Independents aren’t buying that argument. Anyway, women know that Obama has got their back, and we’ve had Hollywood double down on its “Republicans will legalize rape” claims.
Black woman: Should we talk about the fact that blacks are disproportionately affected by unemployment?
Chairman: Our campaign funds and air time are too limited to do messaging on the way the President’s policies are good for African Americans. American blacks know that Obama’s got their backs, He’ll make sure that the government always supports them.
Jewish Guy: Isn’t it time that the President made a strong statement about Israel?
Chairman: We’ve polled that one, Shlmo, and it’s going nowhere in this election. Let’s let sleeping dogs lie.
Palestinian Guy: The president must talk about the continued slaughter and rape of the Palestinian people.
Chairman: Calm down, Achmed. We don’t need to do a strong message on this, because our base knows that the President has the Palestinian people’s backs.
Sex-changed gay transvestite: I have two words: Gay Marriage.
Chairman: The president’s still evolving on that one until after the election, Pat. Don’t worry. You guys, gals and indeterminates know that the president has your backs.
Lone WASP guy: What about the murdered ambassador in Libya, the head of security killed in Yemen yesterday, and all the other signs that al Qaeda is coming back?
Chairman: Come on, Charlie. The president has already explained that these are just highly critical movie reviews that got out of hand. The public doesn’t need to hear more. Al Qaeda knows that the President’s got its back. Uh, misspoke there, Dude. I meant that the American people and the American military know that the President’s got their backs.
Five year old attending meeting because she’s got a cold and her mom is still breast-feeding her: Mommy, Mommy! I want my Tickle Me Elmo doll!!!
Chairman: That’s it. Elmo! Big Bird! Protecting those icons from Republican attacks is the one thing we need to do in order galvanize those Independent voters. It’s Mom, Apple Pie, Elmo and Big Bird. Okay, folks! Here’s the official line: President Obama, Defender of Sesame Street!