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  1. says

    Hey kid, just make sure not to catch rabies and it’ll be okay. Also, humans don’t like getting their hands dirty, so there’s plenty of American patriots that’ll give you care and protection if you need it. Just don’t go to Democrats or their SWAT teams. Remember what happened to Bambi at the shelter.

  2. Call me Lennie says

    This is a joke I tell about my daughter
    One time when she was about 20 months old, my daughter was jumped by a neighbor’s high strung Dalmatian, who nipped her in her right earlobe.  Nothing catastrophic; the worst of it was the doctor at the urgent care facility over-prescribed the necessary anti-biotics; with the inevitable outcome.  (Know the pun was intended)
     
    And I wondered how this might affect her as she grew up.  Then one day, I picked her up at her kindergarten class, only to see everyone in her class crying their eyes out, while she was dancing around and clapping her hands with glee.  And I said, “What happened?” And the teacher said, “Oh, we just finished watching Old Yeller.”  And then she added, “You know, it’s really strange.  We watched 101 Dalmations about a week ago, and the exact opposite happened.  All the other kids were cheering at the end, and your daughter was crying.”
     
    Of course, as a cagey parent, I was able to use this in a positive way.  One time in high school, she seemed to be overwhelmed with the demands of her AP coursework, and was thinking about quitting AP.  And I counselled her, “You know, you need to learn to cope with this kind of stress; it’s a dog eat dog world out there.”  That immediately brightened her outlook.
     
    And then I said, “Outstanding!  You go, Kruella.  (her favorite pet phrase)  Let’s see my brave little AP soldier turn her frown upside down.  Tell you what, just for that, I’ll go over to Blockbuster and rent “Old Yeller” and we can both have a good laugh.”

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