I haven’t managed to write anything substantive today. That’s because my entire day has been spent doing other things and then being interrupted when I was doing those other things. I’ll give you a little sample of “a day in the life of,” followed by some awesome political cartoons. Incidentally, the little sample isn’t intended to elicit pity. It’s just a way of explaining why blogging hasn’t happened.
0615: Wake up, dress, etc.
0630: Walk one of the dogs.
0635: Prepare breakfast for kids, and hustle kids and husband along — with all of them having varying departure dates.
0720: Get first two kids on the way to school.
0740: Get husband on the way to work.
0745: Clean kitchen, which looks like a bomb hit it.
0800: Walk and feed both dogs.
0805: Eat breakfast
0820: Quick ablutions and minimal grooming.
0835: Drive south to get house guest to school.
0900: Head north to Kaiser for yet another “visible man” test, to see what’s ticking (or not ticking) inside of me.
1100: Head back home.
1130: Eat lunch.
1200: Pay Mom’s bills.
1210: Contact Mom’s retirement home to find out wifi password for her new iPad. (The speaker on the old one broke.)
1215: Spend a challenging 20 minutes walking Mom through the two steps necessary to enter the password for her apartment wifi.
1235: Beep. Beep. Beep. Text from daughter with reminder to call plumber. (A good reminder, because I’d forgotten.)
1236: Beep. Beep. Beep. Text from daughter asking if she can drive a third party somewhere. (No, you don’t have your year yet.)
1240: Ring. Ring. Phone call from mother telling me that the speaker on her new iPad is not working. Spend a frustrating 20 minutes trying to tell her how to turn up the volume on her iPad. Retire defeated.
1247: Ring. Ring. Phone call from mother telling me that she’s getting a space on the picture where the thing should be on her iPad, and that the buttons aren’t working so that she can’t get any messages from Amazon. Further questioning does not clarify this cryptic message. Mother hangs up to get her meds, promising a return call.
1252: Beep. Beep. Beep. Text from husband asking where I am. I reply.
1258: Ring. Ring. Phone call from mother tell me that the volume on her iPad is still not working and telling me that she can’t find the movies on her Amazon video app. I tell her they’re on her “watchlist” (as I’ve told her several hundred times before). I remind her how to find her watchlist. She insists it’s not there.
1300: Beep. Beep. Beep. Text from husband asking what I’m doing. I reply.
1310: Call back from plumber (thank God).
1311: Beep. Beep. Beep. Text from husband asking if I’ve gotten the California rebate yet on our new EV (a Ford Focus electric). I reply saying it’s a work in progress. That’s a lie. More accurately, it will be a work in progress.
1315: Begin filling out online and paper forms in order to get rebate on EV car. If the news about low EV car sales is accurate, there are people at the rebate company just waiting for my information. After all, if I don’t keep them working, they may end up like those government employees who have nothing to do but watch porn on the job.
1320: Ring. Ring. Phone call from mother telling me that the volume on her iPad is still not working, but that the orange thing is flashing (what orange thing?), but that she thinks the building’s fiwi isn’t working because she cannot talk to the internet. Also, why aren’t any videos showing up on her Amazon video app? I explain that the videos don’t live on the iPad. That they live with Amazon and that she can’t see them if the internet is down.
1323: Beep. Beep. Beep. Husband asks me why I’m not showing up on the Find Friends app. I’m tempted to tell him that it’s because I’m hiding. In fact, investigation shows that the app believes that I’ve disconnected with the internet. Anyway, I’m sitting at home so, really, why is he trying to find me?
1330: Wrap up EV rebate application and start reading a few articles online. Take a moment to send up a prayer for Joan Rivers, may she rest in peace. It feels right, somehow, to know that one of her last public acts was a full-throated defense of Israel.
1415: Ring. Ring. Dear friend calls long-distance. Drop everything for the pleasure of talking to her.
1500: Ring. Ring. Mom calls again asking if she can get iPad help from one of the receptionists at the building, since he has an iPad and thinks he can help. I practically cheer. “Yes, yes, yes!” I trill, sounding like Sally faking an orgasm in When Harry Met Sally. “That’s a wonderful idea!”
As you can see, none of the above tasks or interruptions is grueling, dirty, hard, or anything else unpleasant or nasty. It’s just that I never achieve anything even remotely approaching focus. That’s why, on days such as this, I’m so grateful for those people who send me wonderful cartoons and posters so that I have something to share with you. Thank you Earl, Sadie and, most of all, Caped Crusader, who keeps me endlessly supplied with more great pictures than I can count.