Struggling to make a comeback Open Thread
See that lovely picture to the left? That’s me. Between work and insomnia, I’ve been burning the candle at both ends and, Edna St. Vincent Millay to the contrary, I am not making a lovely light. I’m making a tired, bedraggled dim little smudge of of an almost-burnt-out bulb kind of light.
The major filings are all behind me, though, and there are only a few more still to come — and none, thankfully, as urgent. When I was in my 20s, I had a lot more stamina for this type of thing. It wasn’t just that I was some (mumble, mumble) years younger, it was also that I had no other demands on me. No teenagers, no exchange students, no husbands, no aged Moms, no darling dogs. It was all about me, me, me — and my work.
I miss those selfish days a great deal, but I don’t regret them. Tired and grumpy as I am now, I’m a much nicer person than I was then. Back then, after a childhood of being odd-man out (just making an observation, not trying to be yet another in the parade of needy victims PC victims), I was all sharp angles and attacking blades. Verbally, I was the maven of “I’ll insult you before you can insult me.”
Now, except when I vent against political, religious, or media figures who I believe are endangering my children’s future, I’m a very nice person. When I’m sarcastic, I make sure it’s broad and not mean. I’m not embarrassed by my own unkindness. Thus, much as I miss the luxury of selfishness, I don’t miss being selfish.
But back to my original point: If I manage to peel myself off the wall tonight, I’ll write something, and if I don’t, I’ll write tomorrow. (What’s making me crazy is that yesterday afternoon I composed a wonderful post in my head — and now I can’t remember a darn thing about it! Feh!)