A refreshing break in the day

Tired of stale old movies? Have your kids write a script (perhaps a door-to-door salesman theme), then have them record the dialogue and, lastly, have a couple of adults lip sync while acting out the dialog. “Charming” doesn’t begin to describe the result:

If you enjoy this kind of thing, you’ll find more here. Here’s another (possibly even funnier) one for good measure:

Just had to add one more, because Josh Groban (excuse me, Josh Gwobin) is a good sport:

Keanu therapy — and things that are even worse

I’m having a “less than halfway through recovery” slump. I’ve taken a careful and, arguably, scientific approach to dealing with the slump: chocolate ice cream and repeated viewings of Keanu Reeves in Speed.

Keanu Reeves

I now know what it feels like to be an addict on a bender. I’ve clearly hit rock bottom.

I was going to remark rhetorically that the only question remaining is how much lower I can go for the next four months, but I think I already have my answer — I’ve now started watching Magnum, p.i. I’d be watching the Love Boat if it was on streaming Netflix. I’m clearly regressing.

The problem with online multiple choice questions

Periodically, Facebook is suddenly flooded with multiple choice tests from Buzzfeed or Gawker or even a scientific outfit, all of them promising to tell which Disney princess you’d be; or if you’re an introvert or an extrovert; or if you have a specific regional accent; or if you should be reading War and Peace instead of Harry Potter.  I find all of these tests, whether silly or serious, useless.  They do not allow for any nuance or thinking outside of the box.

Apparently I’m not the only one who has problems with multiple choice tests that don’t reflect actual reality or, at the very least, my reality.  I’m just grateful that I’m not at a stage in life where stupid multiple choice tests affect my employment.  I also have one more reason to support my strong belief that I never want to go back to school — any school — again.  I’m a happy autodidact who doesn’t need to struggle with poorly drafted, ambiguous, stupidly conceived tests.

Illinois versus Oklahoma

oppositesIt was a crazy day today (not bad, just crazy), so blogging wasn’t happening.  At points, I was so busy, I had to remind myself to breathe.  Friends still sent me emails, though, including this one, which Zhombre forwarded to me.  I have no idea whether the facts are true, although I can tell that the Illinois part was written not long after Rahm Emanuel became Chicago’s mayor.  Without having fact-checked it, I offer it to you as is:

Part 1—Illinois

Some interesting data on the State of Illinois … There are more people on welfare in Illinois than there are people working. Chicago pays the highest wages to teachers than anywhere else in the U.S., averaging $110,000/year. Their pensions average 80-90% of their income. Wow, are Illinois and Chicago great or what? Be sure to read till the end. I’ve never heard it explained better. Perhaps the U.S. should pull out of Chicago? Body count: In the last six months, 292 killed (murdered) in Chicago. 221 killed in Iraq; AND Chicago has one of the strictest gun laws in the entire US.

Here’s the Chicago chain of command:
President: Barack Obama
Senator: Dick Durbin
House Representative: Jesse Jackson Jr.
Governor: Pat Quinn
House leader: Mike Madigan
Atty. Gen.: Lisa Madigan (daughter of Mike)
Mayor: Rohm Emanuel
The leadership in Illinois – all Democrats.

Thank you for the combat zone in Chicago. Of course, they’re all blaming each other. Can’t blame Republicans; there aren’t any! Chicago school system rated one of the worst in the country. Can’t blame Republicans; there aren’t any!

State pension fund $78 Billion in debt, worst in country. Can’t blame Republicans; there aren’t any!

Cook County (Chicago) sales tax 10.25% highest in country. Can’t blame Republicans; there aren’t any!

This is the political culture that Obama comes from in Illinois. And he is going to ‘fix’ Washington politics for us?

George Ryan is no longer Governor, he is in prison. He was replaced by Rob Blagoyavic who is, that’s right, also in prison. And Representative Jesse Jackson Jr. resigned a couple of weeks ago, because he is fighting to not be sent to… that’s right, prison.

The Land of Lincoln, where our governors make our license plates. What?

As long as they keep providing entitlements to the population of Chicago, nothing is going to change, except the state will go broke before the country does.
“Anybody who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian.”

Don’t forget Detroit, another good example…

PART 2—Oklahoma

Oklahoma is the only state that Obama did not win even one county in the last election… While veryone is focusing on Arizona’s new law, look what Oklahoma has been doing!!!
An update from Oklahoma:

Oklahoma law passed, 37 to 9 an amendment to place the Ten Commandments on the front entrance to the state capitol. The feds in D.C., along with the ACLU, said it would be a mistake. Hey this is a conservative state, based on Christian values… HB 1330

Guess what… Oklahoma did it anyway.

Oklahoma recently passed a law in the state to incarcerate all illegal immigrants, and ship them back to where they came from unless they want to get a green card and become an American citizen. They all scattered. HB 1804. This was against the advice of the Federal Government, and the ACLU, they said it would be a mistake.

Guess what… Oklahoma did it anyway.

Recently we passed a law to include DNA samples from any and all illegal’s to the Oklahoma database, for criminal investigative purposes. Madam Pelosi said it was unconstitutional SB 1102

Guess what… Oklahoma did it anyway.

Several weeks ago, we passed a law, declaring Oklahoma as a Sovereign state, not under the Federal Government directives. Joining Texas, Montana and Utah as the only states to do so.  More states are likely to follow: Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, Carolina’s, Kentucky, Missouri, Arkansas, West Virginia, Mississippi and Florida. Save your confederate money, it appears the South is about to rise up once again. HJR 1003

The federal Government has made bold steps to take away our guns. Oklahoma, a week ago, passed a law confirming people in this state have the right to bear arms and transport them in their vehicles. I’m sure that was a setback for the criminals. The Liberals didn’t like it — But….

Guess what… Oklahoma did it anyway.

Just this month, the state has voted and passed a law that ALL drivers’ license exams will be printed in English, and only English, and no other language. They have been called racist for doing this, but the fact is that ALL of the road signs are in English only. If you want to drive in Oklahoma, you must read and write English. Really simple. By the way, the Liberals don’t like any of this either

Guess what… who cares… Oklahoma is doing it anyway.

Is it really time for a penguin Santa?

Russian icon depicting St Nicholas with scenes from his life. Late 1400s or early 1500s. National Museum, Stockholm.

Russian icon depicting St Nicholas with scenes from his life. Late 1400s or early 1500s. National Museum, Stockholm.

I always find it funny when people claim that an image of Christ appeared in their tortilla or the mildew on their bathroom wall, because these images invariably look like the imagined Christ from 15th century northern European paintings.  At a guess, Christ was dark (Semitic looking) not fair, but everything else is unknown and, in this life, unknowable.

The intersection between pop culture and actual history (known and unknown) has now hit Christmas:  a black gal thinks it’s time for Santa to be de-humanized into a black-and-white penguin so that no particular racial group in America feels slighted by that embarrassingly white Santa we currently have.

My feeling is that, if that gal wants to market a line of black-and-white Santa penguins, more power to her, and I hope she profits from her efforts.  St. Nick was born a Greek, and was almost certainly neither black nor white himself (probably just swarthy).  He would surely be as amused about a penguin Santa, as he would be about his American incarnation as a fat, red-clothed, white-bearded white man who drives a flying sleigh and slides down chimneys.

Penguin in Santa hat