1st woman:  Oh, my God.  I’m so upset.  I made the most horrible Freudian slip.
2nd woman:  What happened?
1st woman:  I was having lunch with my mother.  I meant to say, “Please pass the toast,” and instead I said, “You horrible woman.  You’ve ruined my life.”

***
“You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a [...]