I keep seeing women who married wealthy men during their childbearing years, falling head over heels, post-divorce, for loving, not wealthy men.
Because I have a legal project and because the news today does not inspire me, I wanted to direct your attention elsewhere — and get your opinion about a post-divorce phenomenon I keep seeing here in true, blue Marin.
Marin being what it is, I move in high-end white-collar circles. This is not a boast, it’s just a fact. At all the schools my children have attended, the greater number of parents have at least one degree and a majority have two. Some even have three degrees. These credentials translate into high-earning jobs for both men and women — although I know of only two cases in which the wives out-earn the husbands.
Over the years, several of my female friends have gotten divorced. With two exceptions out of perhaps 15-20 divorces, the husbands were very good earners. Unfortunately for their wives, they were also narcissists or sociopaths. The same clinical, self-detached, manipulative qualities that made them thrive in the corporate world made them unpleasant in the home.
The divorces of which I speak happened many years ago and my women friends have moved on. Only one of them has a new partner who earns more than, or as much as, her former husband did. The trend I’ve observed is that these women have all found tremendous happiness with partners who earn about the same as or even less than the women do.
I still get a kick out of what one woman told me: “He’s so wonderful. He’s loving and supportive to me. He barely earns any money, but I just don’t care!” [Read more…]