Despite any actual evidence, Elizabeth Warren sticks resolutely to her claim that she is 1/32 Native American.
This is how crazy people think. Do you know how I know that? Because I just watched Bowfinger with the kids.
Bowfinger, which was made in 1999, when one could still be at least a little bit un-PC, is a very silly movie. The premise is that a down-and-out producer (Steve Martin) puts together an “aliens are attacking” action-adventure film by having his little team of amateurs act around the unwitting Kit Ramsey (Eddie Murphy), a famous action movie star, who also happens to be ravingly paranoid.
Kit’s manic delusions are established in his very first scene, when he complains that all the great lines (e.g., “Hasta la vista, baby”) go to non black actors, proving a conspiracy. From that start, he counts all the “Ks” in a script, points out that the resulting number is perfectly divisible by three, raves about the “KKK” conspiracy he’s just proven, and transmutes “Shakespeare” into the racist “Spear Chucker.” No surprise, then, that the next step is to Elizabeth Warren-land:
Here’s the key language (starting at 2:00):
Kit: And I suppose Teddy Kennedy ain’t 1/16th black, eh?
Agent: Teddy Kennedy?
Kit: He’s not like the other Kennedys. Look at him. He’s different!
(I toyed with the idea of calling this post “When real life imitates Hollywood,” because Warren’s staunch defense of her minority status came to light in 2012, while Bowfinger dates back to 1999. I decided in favor of “Hollywood imitates real life,” though, because Warren started claiming Native American status long before 1999.)
Yes, it is old news now that Tim Geithner and a whole lot of other Obama officials forgot to pay their taxes. Nevertheless, when I heard this monologue that Steve Martin did on Saturday Night Live back in 1977, I just had to include it here. It’s perfect:
You . . . can be a millionaire . . . and never pay taxes! You can be a millionaire . . . and never pay taxes! You say.. “Steve.. how can I be a millionaire . . . and never pay taxes?” First . . . get a million dollars. Now . . . you say, “Steve.. what do I say to the tax man when he comes to my door and says, ‘You . . . have never paid taxes’?” Two simple words. Two simple words in the English language: “I forgot!” How many times do we let ourselves get into terrible situations because we don’t say “I forgot”? Let’s say you’re on trial for armed robbery. You say to the judge, “I forgot armed robbery was illegal.” Let’s suppose he says back to you, “You have committed a foul crime. you have stolen hundreds and thousands of dollars from people at random, and you say, ‘I forgot’?” Two simple words: Excuuuuuse me!!”
Considering that most of our current administration officials are my age, give or take a few years, and therefore came of age during Martin’s comedic ascendency in the 1970s, I suspect they learned their lessons well.