How could you believe me when you know I’ve been a liar all my life?

By now, you already know about the 2007 tape of Obama speaking which was released yesterday in full, rather thane expurgated form.  In it, Obama affects a vaguely black accent; says that blacks are born victims; falsely accuses the U.S. government of abandoning Katrina victims because they were black (and please remember that whites were overrepresented amongst the dead, not that it matters to the dead), and lavishes praise on Rev. Wright, whom he calls the guy who “counsels me” and a “great leader.”

The response from the Obama camp was swift:  Hey, don’t listen to him when it makes him look bad!


The moment I read that, all I could think of was an Alan Jay Lerner/Burton Lane song from Royal Wedding.  Not only is the title on the money (“How Could You Believe Me When I Said I Love You When You Know I’ve Been A Liar Like Me”), but Astaire’s lyrics could be Obama talking:

Intro:

Dialogue

Fred:
Oh yeah, yeah!

Jane:
You listen to me just once.

Fred:
Oh sure, sure!

Jane:
I told you a million times
You never wanna listen to me

Fred:
So I said it.
So you heard it
So you’re mad.
So what?

Jane:
So this–It’s the last time I ever
Go to a party with you!

Fred: Will you put that in writin’?

Jane:
Well you’re always
Makin’ cracks
Makin’ cracks!

Fred: Like what?

Jane:
You always humilate me,
Humilate me.
Didn’t your mother never teach ya no manners?

Fred:
I ain’t never had no mother.
We was too poor.

Jane:
Say, what’s the matter with you lately?
You used to tell me you loved me.
You used to treat me like a high-class dame.
Well usen’t ya?

Fred:
So I used.

Jane:
Oh, so there, you admit it.

Fred:
I ain’t admittin’ nothin’!

Jane:
I’ll give ya one more chance.
Do ya love me or don’t ya?

Fred:
No I don’t!

Jane:
Quit stallin’!
I want a direct answer.

Fred:
Oh…
Listen, kid, there’s one thing about ya I can’t understand—

Singing

Fred:
How could you believe me when I said I loved you
When you know I’ve been a liar all my life?

Jane:
You’ve had that reputation
Since you was a youth.

Fred:
You must’ve been insane
To think I’d tell you the truth.

Jane:
How could I believe you
When you said we’d marry?

Fred:
Why, you know I’d rather hang
Than have a wife.
I know I said I’d make you mine.

Jane:
Now wouldn’t youse know
That I would go for that old line?

Fred:
How could you believe me
When I said I loved you
When you know I’ve been a liar?

Jane:
You sure have been a liar.

Fred:
A double-crossin’ liar.

Jane:
A double-crossin’ liar.

Fred:
All my doggone cheatin’ life?

Jane:
You said you would love me long.

Fred:
So what?

Jane:
And never would do me wrong.

Fred:
Stop bending the suit!

Jane:
Faithful you’d always be.

Fred:
Me?
Why baby, you must be loony
To trust a lower-than-low, two-timer like me.

Jane:
You said I’d have everything.

Fred:
Get her.

Jane:
A beautiful diamond ring.

Fred:
Ha ha ha.

Jane:
A bungalow by the sea.

Fred:
A bungalow yet.
You’re really naive to ever believe
A full-of-baloney phony like me.

Jane:
Boy, I sure must’ve lost my head.

Fred:
You ain’t lost nothin’ you never had.

Jane:
What about the time you went to Indiana?

Fred:
I was lyin’.
I was down in Ala…bam.

Jane:
You said you had some business
You had to complete.

Fred:
What I was doin’
I would be a cad to repeat.

Jane:
What about the evenin’s
You was with your mother?

Fred:
I was rompin’ with another honey lamb.

Jane:
To think you swore
Our love was real.

Fred:
Baby, leave us not forget
That I’m a heel.

Jane:
How could I believe you
When you said you loved me?

Fred:
When you know I’ve been a liar.

Jane:
A good-for-nothin’ liar.

Fred:
All my good-for-nothin’ life.

-Dance Sequence-

(While Dancing)
Fred:
Hey!
Yee-hoo!
Hey!
Hey!

(Jane starts kicking and hitting Fred while they continue to dance)

Fred:
Ooh!
Ow! Ooh!

Jane:
You know you’ve been a liar.

Fred:
I know I’ve been a liar.

Jane:
A double-crossin’ liar.

Fred:
A double-crossin’ liar.

Jane:
All your good-for-nothin’ life!