Predators and prey
Bookworm on May 04 2009 at 2:53 pm | Filed under: Uncategorized
Last night we watched a beautifully photographed HD show about Yellowstone. I’d give you the link but, because we TiVo’d the show, and my husband sped through all commercials and station information, I have no idea on which channel the show originated.
Aside from offering gorgeous photography from one of the most beautiful places on earth, the show focused on the dog-eat-dog (or, really, wolf-eat-elk, or coyote-savage-starving-bison) aspect of the park, especially in the winter. The whole thing, of course, inevitably got me thinking about survival strategies. There were a few obvious strategies on the show, and I’ll add to the list one domestic example of a successful survival strategy:
1. Be the perfect predator, and augment each individual animal’s skills exponentially by moving with a pack. This would be the wolves, of course.
2. Have incredibly attuned senses. The fox was good at this. It can hear small rodents beneath five feet of snow — and successfully burrow through that snow in an instant for a nice, tasty meal.
3. If you’re not a hunter, be big, and mean, travel in groups, and be willing to defend yourselves. This strategy is the one that the bison use. When an individual bison is weak, sick or alone, it’s dead meat (literally), but when bison are in fine group fettle, they’re a tough catch for even the friskiest wolves.
4. Be fast. Really fast. This works up to a point for most animals in the deer (or deer-like) family. They move in groups and run like hell. Inevitably, the slowest in the group get sacrificed, but the mass of the group survives for another day. It’s cruel, but it certainly culls out the weakest members.
5. Be really cute. This one isn’t from the show. As I was watching the footage on the wolves, I kept glancing down at my incredibly submissive little dog, curled up in my arms, snoring gently. She’d die in a minute out of the home. Her survival technique is to be cute and loving, and to glom onto humans who see her, not as snack food, but as portable love that should be maintained. Maintenance, of course, comes in the form of providing food, drink, shelter and protection to an animal that otherwise has no defenses.
You all know me well, of course, so you know that I couldn’t leave this topic here. I have to analogize it to national security, right?
To begin with, we Americans do not want to be the perfect predator. That goes against our self image. We have the ability to be the perfect predator but, as a nation, we’re not going to go there. We also have the ability to be a fox-like predator, a nation that uses its wiles to listen in on the world around us. Using advanced technology and plain old human intelligence, we can listen in on our enemies and plan protective strategies. We use these skills defensively, though, not offensively, so they’re not true predator skills as applied to the U.S.
All of which means we’re prey. The best defense, if you’ve got a lot of predators circling, is the bison defense: be big, mean and ready to protect yourself. We were bison under President Bush. I liked that. Like the bison we bristled with defenses, and made it plain that, if attacked, we would use them. Barring our incursion into Iraq (which various people argue was offensive or defensive), our major position over the years was to sit there and say “if you touch us, you’re dead.” Works for me.
The speed defense really didn’t and couldn’t play out for us over the years, because there’s nowhere for us as a nation, or as a group of individuals, to run to. Also, we Americans are not big on abandoning the smallest and weakest (the widows and orphans, so to speak) to the predators out there.
The worst defense is the cute defense my dog uses, because it’s the only defense that depends, not just on the prey’s skills, but on the predator’s conscience. The only reason this defense works between my dog and me is because I have a conscience and I’m extremely amenable to cute. However, it’s an utter failure if (i) you’re incapable of being cute and (ii) your predator couldn’t care less about cuteness. Indeed, for a true predator, the “cuter” you are, the more of a meal you present. Good food, with the virtue of easy hunting.
Unfortunately, President Obama is trying to position us as the cute nation. He’s convinced, as are his liberal acolytes, that if he just goes around the world being cute and submissive, other nations will just want to hold the United States in their collective arms, and feed us and cuddle us. The problem with this notion, of course, is that nations (except for maybe Lichtenstein) are not cute and, even if they were, our enemies are not amenable to cute. Just as a wolf, faced with my darling little dog, would eat her in a single bite, so too will the hostile nations of the world, most of whom function either as perfect predators or smart ones (the Norks, Venezuela, Russia, Iran, etc.), view Obama’s supine, submissive, cute, cute, cute America as the perfect easy target.
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If I were to make an analogy of animals and America, I would choose the American black bear.
- Powerful, and frightening, yet peaceable when not threatened.
- Neither predator nor prey, but master of it’s own domain.
- Slow to anger, but has the ability to defend itself with incredible rapidity.
- Intelligent, but somewhat slow to learn from it’s mistakes.
I probably have spent way to much time in the Sierras observing black bears, but we seem to get along OK.
Well, this is off topic, unless you want to examine Iran and the USA under the guise of the title of Book’s topic: “Predator and Prey”.
Italics are from the following link. I’m wondering what others will think of what’s happening…
http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2009/05/iran-launches-airstrikes-on-iraqi-villages/
I’ll start with a key point from the article: Iraqi airspace is under the control of the US Air Force and under US protection.
The article notes: In February, American fighter jets shot down an Iranian drone flying over Iraq.
OK so far: Iran violated the airspace with a drone plane, we shot it down. So far so good.
But as a result, does Iran respect our airspace sovereignty? Not exactly: Iranian aircraft attacked three villages inside Iraq over the weekend. [...] According to eyewitnesses, the planes were flying at very low altitudes, which may indicate that they were trying to escape detection by radars. So these planes were able to attack many locations.
My armchair analysis: Iran is beginning to push the Obama Administration, and will continue to escalate. We did shoot the drone in February, but offered no public comment on the violation. Now we have an invasion by fighter jets. Will there be a public comment? Remember Obama is trying to normalize relations with Iran. How will Iran interpret our continued silence?
Add to this, the fact that Moqtada Al Sadr, Iran’s Iraqi stooge, emerged last week into public in Iran after two years in hiding. What are their plans for him, I must wonder? As Obama bends over backward not to “offend Iran” – or should I phrase it as, “Obama bends over for Iran” – Iran appears to be quite happy, and ready, to prove to themselves that Obama is a paper tiger.
Look for an increasing frequency of airspace violations, and look for Moqtada al Sadr’s Brigade to resurface and restart insurgency operations either in Baghdad or the Shiite south near Basra, well financed and supported by Iran’s Revolutionary Guard.
Obama will wish he’d been able to get out of Iraq before now, so he could claim he’s got no responsibility there. Shrug his shoulders. Unfortunately for Obama, he still holds responsibility for airspace sovereignty in Iraq and cannot avoid it. Iran will hold his feet to the fire, and with great delight watch Obama do what they fully expect: Nothing.
And when a paper tiger’s feet are held to the fire, the paper tiger shall burn.
Am I wrong?
There’s another survival mechanism, Book. Look up the Cape Buffalo in South Africa or there a bouts.
They will circle around and attack the hunters. They’ll ride back to the rescue of the young and try to kill off the lions.
If you push them.
Ymar #3
> [Cape Buffalo] will circle around and attack the hunters. They’ll ride back to the rescue of the young and try to kill off the lions.
Great example!
Suppose there (temporarily in charge) alpha buffalo, Obamalo, with shall we say a different viewpoint. I don’t know how that could happen among Cape Buffalo, but suppose they could lose their instinctive behavior…
Mama Buffalo: “Gee, those lions that have been circling us all morning, they’re getting more aggressive. Closer and closer, and our young are straying. Maybe we’d better ask when the leaders are going to bring them back into the herd!”
Mama Buffalo #2: “Trust Obamalo! Love Obamalo! He knows what’s best.” She sniffs and frowns severely. “I think you’re actually being critical. How dare you!”
Mama Buffalo #1: “You’re right. He knows best! I don’t know what I was thinking!”
Security Buffalo: “Obamalo, the lions are getting close. Shall we send out our flankers and go after them?”
Obamalo: “All that running about, threatening the lions when, really, they’re just like us. If we weren’t so threatening, they’d stop bothering us, you know. It’s really all our fault. Did I apologize to this particular lion tribe yet for our transgressions?”
Security Buffalo: “No, Sir, they were across the river last week during your Tour.”
Obamalo: “Ah, that explains their current mistrust of me, then. We’ll have to take care of that soon. But for now, just remember, they’re just like us. Let’s not be transgressional. If we don’t harass them, they’ll have no need to harass us. You’ve got to learn to Think In New Ways, David.”
Security Buffalo: “I understand, Sir. I’ll continue to monitor the situation.”
Obamalo, severely: “There is no situation, David. You’re still contributing to the problem with thoughts like that. But if you wish to extend yourself, well go ahead. Just keep an eye on our domestic opponents, ok.”
Security Buffalo: “Yes, sir.”
Obamalo: “The real enemy, you know. The one that really does exist.”
Security Buffalo: “Yes, sir!”
Screams from the Mama Buffalos: “The children! They’re attacking the children!”
Obamalo: “Damn it! If someone has transgressed, I’ll have their heads! What a shame I didn’t catch these fellows on my Tour! This is all so unnecessary! What a tragedy!” He is distraught. “These buffalo-caused-disasters simply must be brought to an end. Where are the diplomats!?!? I need more diplomats!”
*holding myself together with willpower and guts alone* You are too much, Mike.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LU8DDYz68kM
Watch this while reading MIke’s dialogue.
When the lions chase the buffalos off, remember that this is when Obama is talking. When the buffalos go back after a regime change, it is when it is “too late” for the Republic.
And the center of the video? That’s us, the American people. Small. Young. Less able to defend ourselves than the politicians that have political or military power to wield.
Too bad that Australian guy’s accent was just too much at times, couldn’t understand him.
Notice how some of the buffalo go out of the herd and then go right back? That would be the American nature to conquer and then go back to the herd after the slight use of aggression has pushed the threat back.
Bears are American individuals, but America as a whole is definitely a herd of cape buffalo.
But single cape buffalo, the bulls, those are the most dangerous, because the yhave no herd to protect and if you wound one and don’t finish them off, they will start hunting you. And a full charge by a buffalo with their horn will gore you and destroy your internal organs.
Please pay attention to the time marks, as they detail where you should be at as you read the dialogue i created.
57s.
Lion Hunter 1: There’s some buffalo over there that don’t see us.
Lion Hunter 2: You think we can take em?
Lion Hunter 1: The bulls outmass us and could kill us if they got the will. But they weak, they won’t defend themselves if we all attack.
Lion Hunter 3: Who should we attack?
Lion Hunter 1: The Americans are feckless cowards and infidels in the eyes of Allah, the Lion God King. When we attack their children, they will fold before us from our mighty host and from their ungodly fear.
Lion Hunter 2: Praise Allah, let us attack now!
Lion Hunter 1: Wait for it… wait for it… NOWWW Allahu AkBBAARRRRR
1:59
Great Big Buffalo: We’re being attacked! Disarm yourselves and run for it!
Mama Buffalo: But the children! They are going for my babies!
Great Big Buffalo: Leave that kid, he’ll be dead soon. I should have made you abort him anyways.
Mama Buffalo: You did try that, but he survived and I nursed him back to health.
Great Big Buffalo: Keep RUnning Everybody! So Sayeth the ObamaCow. And You Will Obey the ObamaCow.
2:05
Lion Hunter 1: I got one of the small satans!
Lion Hunter 2: Yes, behead the infidel. Strangulate it, kill it, make it suffer!!
Lion Hunter 3: Git Em Git Em Git Em.
Buffalo Baby: Help! I Need Help. These lions have kidnapped me and are threatening to kill me! Please, I need the help of the American military. Somebody?!?! Anybody?!?
Great Big Buffalo: Hurry up and die, soon to be aborted, sonny.
3:30
Harry Reid Crocodile 1: I want me a piece of that, my jihadist friends.
Nancy PillowC Crocodile 2: Those are some delicious baby parts.
Lion Hunter 1: No Infidel, this is ours by the mercy of Allah!
Lion Hunter 2: You shall get nothing you infidel.
Harry Reid Crocodile 1: Give me that baby or I will make sure the buffalo military herd will bomb all of your stinking tribe.
Lion Hunter 3: Try it, lizard-dog. I slap my paw in your face!
4:30
Great Big Buffalo: It’s too late. He’s dead. Don’t sacrifice yourself (myself) for a lost cause!
Harry Reid Crocodile 1: Get your fat arse over here and get rid of these lions so I can get me my baby fat!
Great Big Buffalo: Ok. You two military nimrods and myrmidons! Go Attack!
General Petraeus: My army, now persuant to the commander in chiefl, has been ordered to surround the enemy and cut off all escape routes before implementation of Operation Salvation.
Great Big Buffalo: *snickers* Salvation, who are you going to save? Some choice meat for my buddy?
5:15
Sergeant Major Buffalo: Commencing preliminary softening up of target, General.
General Petraeus: Our duty as protectors of the American herd is to do our best to save all Americans, especially the innocent and the defenceless.
Great Big Buffalo: Yadda Yadda Yadda, shut up with your white man superiority monologue and do what I told you to do.
Sergeant Major Buffalo: I chased one of the jihadists away, Sir.
5:25
Great Big Buffalo: Excellent!
Sergeant Major Buffalo: I was addressing General Petreaus, Mister Obama.
General Petreaus: Good job, Smaj. Return to your unit.
5:40
Soldier Buffalo: We have them surrounded, General.
Dick Cheney Buffalo: I want me a piece of this action, General. I’m old, my teeth is getting worn, and I want to kill me something.
General Petraeus: Uh sir… you have a heart…
Dick Cheney: I don’t give a good god damn about a heart, you either let me through the front lines at the enemy or you are going to have to deal with me. And I am no longer your Vice President so don’t think the argument that I am needed “alive” is going to cut it from you.
General Petreaus: Let the old bull through, he shall make the first attack of Operation Salvation.
5:45
(Lion Jihadist goes flying) Dick Cheney: Damn, I missed her vital organs.
Lion Hunter 1: What do you mean “her”? I am male, you perfidious infidel and tool of satan!
5:50
Lion Hunter 2: There are too many of the infidels! I am running for it.
General Petraeus: Commence the chase, Smaj.
5:52
Sergeant Major Buffalo: Yes, sir. Sergeant Beefiness, please order the herd to advance on the Lions at the double, ASAP. Get to it!
6:15
Sergeant Major Buffalo: We have chased away most of the enemy, sir. We only have 2 more lions stopping us from recovering the hostage.
Lion Hunter 3: I am scared, leader.
Lion Hunter 1: Hold here, they will run away like the cowards that they are. And then we can feast on the flesh of their weakest.
Sergeant York: Smaj, the baby is still alive!
General Petraeus: What? No, belay that question. Charge at Once, Smaj!
Dick Cheney: Yipee Chayeeeeeee
Lion Hunter 1: Nooo! Preposterous! Allah has abandoned us!
6:30
Great Big Buffalo: What are you doing? I ordered that you were to get rid of the lions, not to commence any rescue attempt on the bod… I mean baby.
General Petreaus: Under your current orders to the Army of the Herd, we have authorization to commence giving aid to the baby should the baby’s life be endangered by lion actions.
Great Big Buffalo: But I didn’t think you’d be so reckless as to attack!!
HR Croc 1: Hey Our Big Ass Mistake America, Barack, where is my juicy fat at ?
NP Croc 2: …….. I’m waiting with my tail and whip, black man.
Great Big Buffalo: Sorry, can’t give him to you now that the media knows he is alive and the military is protecting him.
HR Croc 1: You are pretty useless, Barack. I don’t know why we helped elevate you to the top position in that herd.
7:21
Lion Hunter 1: I will be back!
Dick Cheney Buffalo: Yeah, and you’ll still be a female too!
Ymar #7
Awesome! I particularly greatly enjoyed the integration with the video (one of the best videos ever on the web!) That creative integration took real work – and kudos for bringing in Dick Cheney!
Glad you liked it, Mike.
I think Book may also like it, given her interest in these animal anthropomorphic challenges ; )
It’s amazing how close America resembles cape buffalo behaviors.
It takes almost forever for America to be mobilized, but once mobilized, we will steamroll over anything in our path. In the cape toad world, a huge lion or elephant would be the equal of one of their bulls, if not superior. In America’s world? Nobody is our equal, period, should we go on the rampage. The world hasn’t seen its like since WWII and WWI. The Japanese, however, saw a glint of it just at the end, even if it cost Truman his backbone in the next war for Korea.
And just like with the cape buffalo, there will only be a few members of the herd willing to truly attack first. Most of the members will huddle together for warmth and simply go with the flow. This defined the majority of Americans after 9/11, who simply went with WMDs because Bush was leading the charge and then went against WMDs because the Democrats were now leading the charge.
And just like with America, the cape buffalo will try a half hearted attack on one lion, stop just when it is about to catch it, and then turn back towards the herd, only to repeat this over and over again. Thus America never decisively occupies or crucifies a nation, it always does what is needed to repel the threat, ensures it doesn’t come back in the future, and then leaves people alone. Unfortunately, in some circumstances, America leaves before the threat is nullified, meaning some buffalo can chase lions away, but that doesn’t mean that lion won’t in the future kill another buffalo. Not enough to chase lions away, you got to wound, cripple, and kill em. Then they won’t ever prey on you again.
But, America is like the peaceful cape buffalo. They don’t see a need to hunt down lions. They are happy just the way they are.
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