The difference between conservatives and liberals

Zhombre forwarded this email to me.  I think it’s right on the money:

If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
If a liberal doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it’s a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he’s in labor and then sues.

If a conservative reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he’s “offended”.

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  • suek

    Heh.

    Copied, pasted and passed on.

    Guess I know where I belong!

  • SADIE

    Thanks, Zhombre.

    A tad too long for a bumper sticker, but perfect for a poster and email.

  • Zhombre

    My hat tip is to Maddog Cohen, who f/w it to me.

  • Gringo

    Googling shows this list is gaining circulation. In fact when I initially showed 49 hits, after ten minutes of writing, the hits increased to 51.Here are some additions that others have made to the list.

    This is my favorite addition from the web. (stoptheACLU)

    Conservatives feel there is a right and wrong.
    Liberals feel that nothing is really wrong… unless it is believed by a conservative.

    Here are some other additions. ( ditto)

    Conservatives believe in freedom, responsibility, tradition, and self-reliance.
    Liberals believe in license, government restrictions, upending tradition, and collectives.

    If a conservative sees a law, he thinks long and hard before suggesting a change.
    If a liberal sees a law he assumes it is just a suggestion and does what he wants anyway.

    Here are my additions to the list.

    Conservatives believe that before one passes a law, one should think long and hard about the potential positive and negative consequences of said law, as they can point to many laws that had unintended consequences.
    Liberals believe that the solution for any problem is to pass a law, the sooner the better and the longer the better. “There ought to be a law,” and once the law is passed, all is solved.

    Conservatives believe that before voting on legislation, that those who are voting on it should do a careful and thorough reading of the proposed legislation.
    Liberals believe that there is no need for legislators to read the legislation before voting on it. After all, the wording is confusing, and in any event, whoever wrote the bill knew what he was talking about.

    Conservatives believe that proposed legislation should be available to the public at least three days before it is voted on.
    Liberals believe that the public should not be confused by reading proposed legislation, and that it is too difficult to upload electronic documents onto the web, because they need to be carried by donkeys from Los Angeles to Washington before they are put on the web, which would take too much time.

    Conservatives believe it is irrational for legislators to support thousand page long pieces of legislation they haven’t read.
    Liberals believe it is rational for legislators to support thousand page long pieces of legislation they haven’t read.

    Conservatives believe that it is rational for citizens to be angry at legislators who support thousand page long pieces of legislation they haven’t read.
    Liberals believe that it irrational for citizens to be angry at legislators who support thousand page long pieces of legislation they haven’t read.

    Conservatives believe that perfection is never attained, that we and the society we live in are inherently imperfect. Less bad is more attainable than perfect. Liberals believe that perfection is just around the block, after the next government program is enacted.

    Conservatives believe that one should think long and hard about enacting the next proposed government program, because so many have turned out much worse than originally envisaged. Liberals believe that those who oppose the next proposed government program are evil-mongers who are blocking the arrival of Secular Heaven on Earth.

    I could go on and on, but will let someone else carry the ball from here.

  • suek

    >>If a liberal sees a law he assumes it is just a suggestion and does what he wants anyway.>>…

    …unless s/he is in a position of power, in which case s/he enforces it on conservatives and opponents while giving supporters a pass.

  • suek

    >>Liberals believe that there is no need for legislators to read the legislation before voting on it. After all, the wording is confusing, and in any event, whoever wrote the bill knew what he was talking about.>> …

    … besides, judges will know how to interpret the law to get the desired results, and if it’s too clear, they won’t be able to manipulate it in order to get those desired results – which might be different depending on just who and what issues are involved.

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  • http://ymarsakar.wordpress.com/ Ymarsakar

    If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

    If a liberal is a vegetarian, he will proselytize his beliefs and tell you that you are bad for supporting the killing and exploitation of animals.

    If a liberal doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

    If a liberal doesn’t like guns, he thinks you are bad for having one.

    If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
    A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

    If a conservative sees a foreign threat, a liberal wonders how the foreign threat can help in destroying the conservative.

    If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
    If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

    If a liberal is homosexual, he demands that conservative homosexuals be publicly outed, character assassinated, and stalked until these race and sex traitors are made an example of.

    P.S.

    Btw, the entire edifice of the Democrat party functions like any sociopathic psychopath that acts the same way as malignant narcissists do. They are charming, hip, and deeply interesting and personable, but at their heart they are traitorous, backstabbing, mean, nasty, and ruthless sons of b*tches and other assorted trash.

    They support Chavez and Saddam, because they are like Chavez and Saddam. Period.

  • http://benningswritingpad.blogspot.com/ benning

    Love it! And the additions are good, too!

    :)

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