Thoughts for the day — Steven Wright
Don Quixote on Jul 23 2012 at 7:46 am | Filed under: Uncategorized
One commenter to yesterday’s thought for the day quoted Steven Wright. I suspect that you either love Wright or don’t care for him at all. I LOVE him. Here’s a link to a site that has a great collection of his one liners. To get the full Steven Wright effect, you have to read, or better yet hear, line after line. It’s a little like the old Laugh-In show — the lines come thick and fast, and each one can bring you up short, so that the effect builds until you are laughing out loud. Or at least wondering how he thinks of these things. Still, I can’t resist sharing a few lines from the site:
I wrote a song, but I can’t read music so I don’t know what it is. Every once in a while I’ll be listening to the radio and I say, “I think I might have written that.”
I had a dream that all the victims of The Pill came back… Boy, were they mad!
“What’s another word for Thesaurus?”
I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, “Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours.” He said, “Yes, but not in a row.”
Not exactly Oscar Wilde, but wildly funny.
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Another favorite: “There’s a light switch in my house that doesn’t do anything. Every so often, I flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, “Cut it out!” I think of this every time I flick the switches in our house that don’t do snything…. I picture some women in Germany. Getting really annoyed.
The list is endless with Wright. His humor reminds me of a personal experience long ago drinking a “Tequila Sunrise”. Actually, it was more than one and only after a longish night of several did I realize why they’re called such – the next thing you see after drinking too many is “sunrise”. :)
That’s the way Wright’s humor hits me. There’s a mental pause in time and then – BOOM!
“The sign outside the restaurant said ‘breakfast anytime’, so I asked for a Denver omelet in the Italian Renaissance.”
I think it was Wright that said “I have a room mate that was born cesarean. You can’t tell really except that every time he leaves the house, he goes out the window.”
pst314, love it!
I once asked a waitress, after reading the menu “Do you really have a chicken frying that steak back there” It took a second then too.