The world’s cleverest student does the world’s funniest book report

Yes, I’m still working on that round-up.  In the meantime, Caped Crusader forwarded to me something that purports to be a student book report.  If it is, it’s the world’s smartest, funniest, best-informed student ever.  No matter its provenance, the following is really good:

Titantic and Bill Clinton

Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, ‘Titanic’ and ‘My Life’ by Bill Clinton.

One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!

His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.

Titanic: Cost – $29.99
Clinton : Cost – $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton : Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton : The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton : Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton : Ditto for Bill
Titanic: During the ordeal, Rose’s dress gets ruined.
Clinton : Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton : Let’s not go there.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton : Monica is forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton : Clinton doesn’t remember anything.

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton : Monica.. Ooh, let’s not go there, either.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton : Bill goes home to Hillary – basically the same thing

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  • lee

    A) I love it;
    B) It’s a major willing suspension of disbelief to believe a “professor” have it an A. But it’s a nice thought.

  • Ymarsakar

    Did you know that traditional book publishing houses are members of the Left, just like unions and Nation of Islam is?
    They launder the money needed to give politicians their “book” deals. Start the research.

  • Charles Martel

    Too good to be true. The last high school student who could have written something like this graduated in 1944.  

  • sabawa

    Because I’m overdosing on cream puff fumes, I believe the whole story.