A Modest Proposal : Encouraging segregation to make America great again (satire, folks, just satire)

A post taking seriously the social justice warriors’ demands that we can only make America great again by returning to segregation. (Satire, of course.)

George Wallace SegregationThe latest trend on the Left is segregation. Black students at Harvard are holding a separate graduation ceremony for themselves; the University of Colorado Boulder is creating a dorm for black students only; many college campuses create special LGBT housing; and a Detroit high school is holding a “Muslim girls only” prom.

I’m a child of the 1960s and 1970s — that is, I grew up during the Civil Rights era, when Americans took a stand against government run amok — so I still remember Southern segregation, race riots, and school busing to desegregate those schools all over America that served only children of a single race. By the time I was nine, I was bused — although, ironically enough, the busing took me from one white middle class school to another white middle class school because there really weren’t enough blacks in San Francisco to go around and make desegregation meaningful.

My personal history means that my first, instinctive response to this new era of self-segregation is revulsion. This isn’t what Martin Luther King demanded, this isn’t the ideal for which hundreds of thousands of American blacks braved dangerous repercussions, and this isn’t the American way.

But you know what? I’m woke now. I’ve figured out that these self-segregating young people and their guilt-ridden white enablers are on to something.

You know why? Because the last time America was truly great was when we were still a segregated country. Just think about America’s triumphs during times when blacks and whites whether voluntarily or involuntarily, kept to their own spheres: That’s when we were truly an ascendant nation:

  • We successfully revolted against the most powerful military in the world.
  • We enacted the Bill of Rights, the most explicit statement ever that humans are created equal and have inherent rights independent of and superior to any government.
  • We beat the Barbary pirates.
  • We won a war against Mexico.
  • We expanded across the lower half of the entire North American continent.
  • We became an economic powerhouse.
  • We won a war against Spain.
  • We won a World War.
  • We gave votes to women.
  • We won another World War.
  • We became an even greater economic powerhouse, so much so that we were the world’s preeminent nation.

And then what happened? The Civil Rights movement began, with people from Martin Luther King on down talking about things such as true equality under the law, thereby breathing real life into the Constitution, and giving speeches about valuing content of character over color of skin.

Across America, more and more people began to realize that it was morally wrong to treat blacks, most of whom had deeper roots in America than the white people swanning about as their so-called “superiors,” as second class citizens. People of all races took to the streets to protest racism in both state and federal laws. Brave martyrs suffered and died for the cause of equal rights for all. Laws changed, as did people’s values.

That whole “equal rights” desegregation stuff is all well and good, of course, but let’s think about the larger context of what was happening to America. We can’t hide from the fact that, as people’s moral indignation led them to free blacks from the ghettos and allow them a place at the bountiful American table, America as a whole was in decline:

  • We walked away from Korea without a victory.
  • We walked away from Vietnam without a victory.
  • We walked away from a victory in Iraq, turning it into a bloody, ISIS-driven defeat.
  • We walked away from Libya, leaving it a godforsaken, ISIS-controlled hell hole.
  • We walked away from Afghanistan without a victory, re-empowering the Taliban.
  • We have had race riots almost every decade since the Civil Rights movement began.
  • We bounced from cocaine ravaging the U.S., to meth ravaging to U.S., to opioids ravaging the U.S.
  • We had an eight year recession, the second longest since the Great Depression.
  • We saw our schools drop from the best in the free world to the most mediocre in the free world.
  • We elected Donald Trump.

I know that there are going to be people who, upon reading this, say things such as “correlation does not equal causation” and “you’re cherry-picking your data points.” But you know what? That’s just the type of classic logical thinking that has no room in today’s America. Today, it’s all about feelings. Logic is so . . . white male, if you know what I mean.

As far as I can tell, looking at the lists I personally prepared, I’ve proved to my own satisfaction that America was great during segregation. Moreover, it’s been going downhill ever since white Americans got woke and realized that segregation was a moral sin that was a stain on a great nation dedicated to freedom. There really is only one possible conclusion: The only way we can have a great America is to have a segregated America.

Naturally, white people, especially white people of my generation who deeply oppose segregation, cannot actually say or do anything to re-segregate America. We must therefore be grateful that today’s young minorities, both racial and religious, helped along by their Progressive white enablers, have also realized that America’s greatness walks hand in hand with racial, gender, and religious segregation.

In today’s woke world, nothing makes America greater than classifying Americans by race, gender, gender identity, sexual identity, and religion, and then dividing those groups both physically and mentally. After all, my carefully chosen data says that’s segregation is what made America great in the first place.

Even better, this generation of over-achieving young patriots is trying to make America greater than ever. Not only are these young ones embracing the black-white schism that those stupid classic liberals thought was a toxin in the American system, they are doubling down on dividing America.

Today’s good citizens recognize that it’s not enough merely to group people by black or white. To ensure America’s future greatness, we need more subgroups: Asians, Hispanics, women, differently-abled, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transsexual, asexual, pansexual, transgendered, non-gendered, fluidly gendered, Muslim, atheist, pro-abortion, etc.  In a country as big as America, our new saviors are identifying exciting new victim grou- . . . er, American subgroups every day.

But America’s up-and-coming partisans know that even those visions are not enough to restore our country. To bind those groups competing for the “greatest victim” title, these clever progenitors of the new “Make America Great Again By Dividing It” movement are doubling down on just a couple of common enemies. Under the name of social justice and intersectionality, young patriots are making sure that everyone comes together to hate (1) white men and (2) Jews. And showing their true genius, they’ve managed to convince young white males and Jews to condemn themselves! Honestly! How great is that?

All I can say is that, under this new paradigm, America is going to be so great again that many of us, especially Jews, white men, and cisgendered heterosexuals, aren’t going to be able to handle all that greatness. I’m betting, though, that when things get really tough for those Jews, white males, and heterosexuals, we’ll find ourselves in comfortable new quarters, complete with shared rooms (including built-in toilets), bars on the windows, and exercise yards watched over by people with guns, all meant to protect us from the righteously angry patriot groups gathered outside the electrified fences.

  • Wolf Howling

    That appears a modest proposal, Mrs. Swift. And just to be pedantic, when we rebelled against the most powerful military in the world, it was with a highly integrated army. A fifth of the American soldiers who stood in parade at the surrender of Cornwallis at Yorktown were blacks.

    • amoose1959

      Phony strawman, the number of blacks who have died fighting for this country pales, again pales , in comparison to the number of whites who have died fighting for this country. Research the numbers.

      • J K Brown

        Well, we must account that for many years they were not at liberty to volunteer to fight, or even be drafted by the State.

        • amoose1959

          Like it or not because it doesn’t fit the narrative that whites took advantage of blacks, this country was defended chiefly by white men in performing one of the most dangerous tasks in life. In this most courageous and perilous job to defend this country ,whites didn’t put blacks on front lines, use them as human shields, or put them on dangerous missions, they did it themselves. So much for white guilt.

          • Wolf Howling

            While I feel no white guilt, blacks were front line troops — and upwards of 20% of the Continental Army — by 1781 and Yorktown. That is a fact, not a strawman. The military would not again be integrated until post WWII.

          • amoose1959

            Don’t forget to tell them about the thousands of blacks that fought for the British.

          • Wolf Howling

            Quite right about that. If you have not read it, Simon Schama has quite a good book out about that, Rough Crossings.

      • ymarsakar

        You wouldn’t even have a country if supernatural forces had let George Washington die at Long Island.

        Black, white, just a bunch of foolish mortal sheep to me. The sheep aren’t supposed to talk back to the shepherd, as the sheep have no clue what is going on.

    • SCOTTtheBADGER

      Drat, you Swiftly beat me to the reference.

  • Marooned Maroon

    Oh, my.

  • blick

    Well, there is that right of “the people peaceably to assemble”. The danger is; once Blacks start to segregate themselves in institutional settings, it can become institutionalized. Then it can become rationalized and forced. The other danger is the tacit acceptance by Blacks that Blacks cannot integrate and function in the greater society.

    • MacG

      “The other danger is the tacit acceptance by Blacks that Blacks cannot integrate and function in the greater society.”

      From the tone I hear it is no that they cannot but “Why would I want to join all of those haters?” while harboring their hate against another color group. This explains the disdain for some scholastically oriented* black teen as actin’ white. There is still a revolution going on as their stories are handed down and embellished over time, making feel like we are not only in the oppressive south but also the attitudes of those minority of states which had segregation laws has somehow spread throughout the land into every white person being a hater. The reality is that most dogs do not bite but the ones that do are scary so there is a caution factor, I get that but it seems so out of sync with where I live. So the wagons get circled and segregation begins out of survival.

      *can I say oriented when referring to a non oriental? 😉

      • ymarsakar

        None of this surprises me, since I was talking about civil war 2 being inevitable from about 2007.

        It’s inevitable because Slavery 2.0 was never eliminated, contrary to Northern claims, and the civil war 1 was also not about states’ rights as the Confeds claim generations on down to even today’s traditions and families in the South. There are two incompatible traditions. When two factions have incompatible traditions, war is easy to fall into.

        WW1->WW2, the fundamental conflict had not been resolved, so people refight the same thing over again. Except it’ll be worse. For example, one side’s traditions said Germans were war criminals and need to pay a perpetual penalty as the loser. The other side, said Germany was ‘stabbed in the back’ by whatever.

        What do the black caucus and the Black Panther terrorists say? It’ll be something similar, a divergent and incompatible “Tradition” that mortals can’t get rid of. It’s why the ancients kept slaughtering each other, including the kids. So long as even one family member remained, they would sustain the “tradition”, and the perpetual blood feud will continue on. Hence Romeo and Juliet. Hatfields vs McCoys.

        • MacG

          Thomas Sowell’s historical overview of slavery could help illuminate the text messaging shorthand of today.

          • ymarsakar

            My personal classification for Slavery 1.0, 2.0, 3.0 makes the data much easier to digest. One of the problems with talking about slavery is that it is too vague a term. It’s sort of like talking about guns, when people also include nukes, armies, and mines.

            Studying Islam, also meant studying the slave ring out of Timbuktu. Not stuff they teach in Catholic, Western civ, or atheist courses.

      • blick

        MacG, Yes, you may use “Oriented”. New America Heritage Dictionary says its derivation/root is Latin for towards the rising sun. So no cultural appropriation of some other equal but separate culture’s language.
        You are correct about the Black’s cultural myths about White oppression. I maintain it takes three generations after Group trauma before it begins to wash out of the Group’s memory. However, Blacks have not had a historical point in time to start counting from. the Civil War did not end the segregation by slavery. It was just continued by other means. if we start in the 60″s the time lapse has been too short. Plus the Black leadership — obama, jackson, dem-leftists, etc are not helping to set other stories as the emerging Black story.

        • MacG

          “However, Blacks have not had a historical point in time to start counting from. the Civil War did not end the segregation by slavery” This is a valid point.

          “Plus the Black leadership — obama, jackson, dem-leftists, etc are not helping to set other stories as the emerging Black story”.
          This is another valid point from Sharpton believing Tawana “Didnt want my Momma to whip me so I made it up” Brawley to Barack “the police acted stupidly” Obama and the various hoaxes on campuses about the KKK do keep the fear alive.

          • ymarsakar

            They’re just copying the Left’s antics in Iran and Palestine. Same people, different skin colors. Livestock are livestock, doesn’t matter how much Co2 they emit.

  • Jim O’Neil

    As I stumble toward my eighth decade I suspect I’m becoming an ultimate segregationist; the majority of people with whom I’d be comfortable associating are dead, the vast majority long dead.

  • MacG

    I think Louis Farrakhan jut upvoted this 🙂

  • ymarsakar

    Actually, back when people were talking about military units including women and homos, I said that for them to work you’d have to segregate them into homo and women only units. Maybe homosexual men with women, but ideally homos with homos and women with women. It builds esprit de corps and it is how the Greeks got a unit of homosexual lovers who became one of the better military units in existence.

    If there aren’t enough women or homos to make a unit… why are we even paying them a salary with medical benefits. Might as well hire “Major Hasans”, at least they can be used as double agents before they go all jihad on a base due to “PTSD”.

  • David Jacobson

    The Democratic Party has always been a racist political party, built on segregation and slavery. Why does it surprise anyone when the Democrats behave like the racists of old, when it is in the DNA to behave as such.