Keanu therapy — and things that are even worse

I’m having a “less than halfway through recovery” slump. I’ve taken a careful and, arguably, scientific approach to dealing with the slump: chocolate ice cream and repeated viewings of Keanu Reeves in Speed.

Keanu Reeves

I now know what it feels like to be an addict on a bender. I’ve clearly hit rock bottom.

I was going to remark rhetorically that the only question remaining is how much lower I can go for the next four months, but I think I already have my answer — I’ve now started watching Magnum, p.i. I’d be watching the Love Boat if it was on streaming Netflix. I’m clearly regressing.

Former Navy SEAL (who looks like Keanu Reeves) challenges Obama’s self-absorbed reliance on the SEALS as campaign tools

I got an email from Andrea Shea King (the Radio Patriot) that had in it a picture of Keanu Reeves and a headline about a post with one former Navy SEAL’s challenge to Barack Obama because of the latter’s narcissistic reliance on the SEALS as his own personal campaign tool.  That seemed like a pecular coupling.  I mean, I love Keanu’s looks more than the next girl, and he’s been in some great action movies, but I certainly don’t associate him with either the SEALS or (thankfully) with political statements.

I then took a second look at my email and realized that the picture wasn’t Keanu Reeves. Instead, it’s a picture of Benjamin Smith, a former SEAL, who is less than thrilled with the way Obama, rather than congratulating himself on successful foreign policy initiatives (which is appropriate for a presidential campaign), seems to be trying to arrogate the SEALS’ physical courage to himself.  It’s a good opinion piece insofar as it reminds Obama what his role in the bin Laden assassination really was:  after much agonizing, and based on information made possible by President Bush’s policies, he authorized an admiral to authorize the SEALS to carry out a plan.

On a more frivolous subject, you can see where I might be excused for confusing Reeves with Smith:

Of course, while Reeves is just an actor who plays a tough guy, Smith really is a tough guy.  More than that, if rumor is accurate, he’s accurately representing the views of entire group that is less than thrilled at the way in which president Obama compares overcoming his fear of a bad headline to the SEALS daily willingness to lay their lives down for their country and their team members.

(In Keanu’s defense, I will say that, aside from his visual appeal, he is one of those very rare actors who keeps himself to himself. He doesn’t opine about romance, current events, politics, the environment, or anything at all. When it comes to an actor, off-screen silence is a valuable quality.)

My dream candidate

I was amusing myself imagining a dream candidate, one that would attract a lot of crossover votes.  I came up with this political personality:

And this physical image:

I would so vote for this man.  Of course, because I’m not quite that shallow, I would vote in a second for Christie even if he didn’t look like Keanu.  But it would certainly be nice if he did….

What helps is that Keanu keeps his mouth shut:  he doesn’t bloviate about politics and the environment.  He does his job and goes home.  It’s the same reason I like Brendan Fraser.  They keep the fantasy alive by allowing me to impose my values on their appealing screen personalities, without spewing forth venom and stupidity on a regular basis.