How liberals would fight wars *UPDATED*

Vacation is over and I’m back to my work schedule, which means no more morning blogging (not that I was very inspired in the morning during vacation).  Still, I had to share this gem with you.

I spoke with a liberal friend yesterday, who is lukewarm about Israel, and he told me that Israel absolutely cannot fight this war because it’s killing children and that’s unacceptable.  This dialogue ensued:

Me:  Did you know that before any strike on a building, Israel gives a warning to the residents to evacuate?

LF:  No.  If that were true, it would be headlined in the news.

Me:  It is true.  It’s just buried in the stories.  What’s also buried is that the Gazans use those warnings to hustle children back into the buildings.

LF:  No.  That’s not true.  If it were true, it would be headlined in the news.

(This went a few rounds and then stopped.)

Me:  You do know that Gaza has fired over 5,000 rockets into Israel, right?

LF:  Yeah, but they didn’t do any harm.

Me:  You do know that the last few, supplied by Iran, fell within about 13 miles of Tel Aviv?  (Note:  I think I got those mileage stats correct.)

LF:  Well, I guess they have to defend themselves.

Me:  How would you have them defend themselves?

LF:  They should have announced to the world that, if Gaza didn’t stop firing rockets by January 2, then they’d attack Gaza.

Me:  They did announce to the world that they were going to attack Gaza.

LF:  No.  that’s not true.  If it were true, it would be headlined in the news.

At this point, we glared at each other in frustration, and the conversation ended.

UPDATE:  I wonder if this kind of editorial, in a reputable liberal paper (the LA Times), would change my friend’s mind.  It spells out carefully the real issues involved in the current war (Iranian hegemony in the Middle East, the fact that Israel is not the only nation out there that fears Iran, and the way in which Hamas manipulates the media precisely in order to fool credulous liberals).

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Comments

  1. Danny Lemieux says

    I don’t know any other way to say this, Book: you have some very stupid and ignorant friends!

    I wonder how many missiles they would be willing to have land in their neighborhood? It is the prevalence of such attitudes today that convince me that, doomed to repeat history, we are headed toward another world war.

  2. SADIE says

    We can determine from the give and take the following:

    1. There are no truths unless it’s in the paper.
    2. There is no justification for the incursion and bombing in Gaza because the body count in Israel isn’t high enough.
    3. That the L.F. is a F.I. and trying to explain reality to someone who denies facts is a useless exercise.

  3. David Foster says

    There’s an old expression: “Were you born this stupid, or did you have to study?”

    For most liberals of the type cited, the answer is surely that they had to study–without benefit of a university education, and probably a graduate degree, they could not possibly have reached such depths of dumbness.

  4. Deana says

    I second what Danny, Sadie, and David said but would add the following:

    Bookworm, you must be an extraordinarily patient and good friend. I wouldn’t be able to restrain myself.

    Deana

  5. Charles Martel says

    I think Bill Clinton has already laid down a doctrine for how liberals will fight:

    1. Always fight where we have no strategic interest.

    2. Give the Europeans a decent chance to say no, non, nein, niet to offers to pull their weight and help us.

    3. Make sure the people we are defending are helpless and pitiful, but not Jewish.

    4. Use weapons that give distance between us and enemy, such as air strikes. Never engage the enemy in hand-to-hand combat because Cindy Sheehan and Barney Fwank will begin wringing their compassionate hands on camera after some of our heavily armed “children” die in battle.

    5. Make sure the New York Times does not report that your war also kills civilians.

    6. Make sure the New York Times does not report that you failed to check in with the UN kleptocracy and went ahead and acted unilaterally.

    7. If the place to be defended is too far from the reach of U.S. power, fight the war via bumperstickers: Free Tibet! And: We Support Our Troops (the barbaric, raping, mass murdering children of vile white GOP trash, and the poor, oppressed black and Latino underclasses).

    8. Repeat No. 3: Do not defend Joooos.

  6. Tiresias says

    I agree with Danny, and this is sort of what I was talking about in the other thread: I don’t have any “friends” who are that g****m stupid. I don’t tolerate it in my ambit – period. The writing partner at his worst never apparoached being in that league for nitwittery.

    I thought you were erecting a straw man for the amusement of all when I first read it – even Marin County fourth-graders have to know better than “if that were true it would be headlined in the news.” I mean, that’s really a moron talking.

    But then I thought about Marin County for a few minutes… I don’t know; could be, I guess.

    We’re going to have to accept that, as Americans, and for a while; truth just doesn’t matter right now. Truth is not a factor in our lives just at the moment. Reality does not impinge for a while, so we’re just going to have to learn to laugh at this stuff. For a while.

    Here’s Harry Reid, moron-at-large from Nevada, refusing to seat Burris because the governor of Illinois is “tainted,” everybody in Illinois is “tainted,” and therefore Burris himself is “tainted.”

    Okay, Harry, what about Obama, is he “tainted?” He worked for Blagojovech’s re-election, right? He’s a life-long denizen of the sewer that is Chicago and Illinois, right? He served in the legislature when Burris was AG, right? He’s a pal and shady dealer with Rezko, right? He benefited from the machine’s sleazy removal of his opponent from the running when he took her seat, right?

    If Burris is “tainted” by virtue of where he’s from, who he knows, who he hung around with, and who he (presumably) owes, if all that “taints” him, how come it doesn’t “taint” Obama?

    Ah, ah – no fair! Everything I just said is real and true, and that doesn’t count if you’re a democwat! Using the truth to make an argument is no fair!

    Get used to it gang, at least for a while. Truth is temporarily irrelevent. Reality is temporarily off the table. They’ll both come back – but not for a while.

    Now Leon Panetta’s been announced as the candidate of “change” to run the CIA.

    Mother of God…

  7. Danny Lemieux says

    Book, I have to disagree with Tiresias: you can’t simply discard your “friend”! As you point out, you would be very lonely. I believe that you are too compassionate a person to willingly throw a special needs person under the bus. So, here’s what I recommend.

    1) Practice doing a sympathetic head tilt to the left when you greet your friend. This disarms their natural aggressive impulses. Use a mirror to get it just right. It’s the human equivalent of a dog revealing its throat as a sign of submission. I believe that this is also a gang signal for Lefties.

    2) Say something sympathetic that let’s them know that you are aware of their limitations without being too overt about it. For example, you might want to say, “Well, hello, Gomer. How are we feeling today?” This way they don’t feel intellectually threatened and save face.

    3) When they express nitwittery (to use Tiresias’ endearing term), say something that they would interpret as being sympathetic without compromising your own standards of decency and intellectual honesty. Use double entendres, such as, “I understand exactly why you think that way!” (no need to go into details). You can even praise them, as in “You read? How wonderful! Not enough people do that anymore.”

    4) If they, Tourette-like, start barking about Israel, Bush, Iraq, Kill the Jooos, etc., gently distract them with a query (one “e”, not two) regarding another topic (“Tell me, do you worry about the ice caps?”).

    5) Keep us updated on your progress. You share some wonderful knee-slapper experiences with us and it is much appreciated. You may want to compile some of your experiences into an anthropological study of Homo erectus sanfranciscus and their tribal ways.

  8. Charles Martel says

    In Marin County fourth graders do not read the newspaper unless it is the New York Times.

    Since teachers and parents here are pretty much in lockstep when it comes to the Times, the fond hope that “even Marin County fourth-graders have to know better than ‘if that were true it would be headlined in the news’” is unfortunately just that: a fond hope.

    Marinites are incredibly provincial, so they take it as a mark of sophistication to subscribe to the NYT. This makes them “conversation worthy” (kind of like Elaine’s “spongeworthy”) in that it gives them permission to talk safely about certain topics as though they know what the hell they’re talking about.

    For example, my atheist leftist friend, a banker who has made the NYT his Bible, assured me last week that the money for the Social Security Fund really exists in a carefully maintained fund. When somebody pointed out that the “fund” was actually a bushel of government IOUs, he had a hard time grasping that an IOU means that the money in question has not yet spontaneously erupted into existence.

    A frickin’ BANKER!

    But, hey, if the government says that money’s going to exist in just the nick of time, why worry?

    So, how does one make friends in a Bizarro Land where logic and thought are broken? By carefully orchestrating how the friendship is played out. This is not hard, because liberals are easily distracted. When they spew BDS, you say, “Oh, speaking of broken promises, did I tell you about the clever item I read in Miss Manners today?”

    Or when they begin to rave about The One, you say, “Speaking of charismatic people, did you know that Abraham Lincoln spoke in a high-pitched voice with a Kentucky twang? I once heard an actor imitating what it probably sounded like. Fascinating! If you could go back in history, who would you most like to hear speak?”

    It works well with fourth graders, so why not with parents who remain at that level of thought and discourse?

    Why go to all this trouble? As Book says, we don’t have much of a choice. Besides, it’s kind of fun to sit next to a person who considers people like you to be racist, greedhead knuckle draggers, little suspecting that you’re not only one of THEM, but that you’ve actually mastered bipedalism and can occasionally bring yourself to like a person of color.

  9. Zhombre says

    If these people wanted to find the truth, they could make an effort to do so but they persist in remaining, in David Mamet’s term, brain dead liberals, passive recipients of every bit of disinformation disseminated by the news media or by NPR; they are willfully and invincibly ignorant, complacent and arrogant; they may progress, depending on circumstances, from being simply sheep to useful idiots to active quislings; and I have nothing but contempt for them.

  10. Danny Lemieux says

    The problem, Zhombre, is that we can’t just ignore them.

    It’s like the zombies in “Sean of the Dead”: if you ignore them, they eventually eat you and you become brain dead like them and start braying like a Liberals in deep BDS. Sadly, we share the planet with them and have to live with the consequences of their belief systems.

    I am convinced that we are living on the cusp between civilizations. The Age of Reason is giving way to the Era of Oprah. We must learn to adapt.

    I’m learning to do my part, OMG, like, you know.

  11. SADIE says

    Deana:

    I must agree with you – I would not be able to restrain myself either.

    Bookworm deserves better than she’s getting from ‘friends’ and I hope that our spirited responses lends her the needed support.

    Bookworm:

    We don’t always get to choose parents, children, but friends are the one entity we do get to choose. It can sometimes feel lonely will ill-chosen ones.

  12. says

    Re, Charles #9:

    “So, how does one make friends in a Bizarro Land where logic and thought are broken? By carefully orchestrating how the friendship is played out. This is not hard, because liberals are easily distracted. When they spew BDS, you say, “Oh, speaking of broken promises, did I tell you about the clever item I read in Miss Manners today?”

    “Or when they begin to rave about The One, you say, “Speaking of charismatic people, did you know that Abraham Lincoln spoke in a high-pitched voice with a Kentucky twang? I once heard an actor imitating what it probably sounded like. Fascinating! If you could go back in history, who would you most like to hear speak?”"

    That’s is pitch-perfect, Charles — and is what I find myself doing a lot of the time. It’s so easy just to lead the conversation away, and makes for an increased atmosphere of civility. Plus, I get to show off all my arcane, irrelevant knowledge, leaving people with the impression I’m smart.

  13. Ymarsakar says

    LF: No. If that were true, it would be headlined in the news.

    He thinks that this would be headline because it would be so a dramatic departure from previous Israeli policy. Which only goes to show how relaxed the ignorant truly are.

    At this point, we glared at each other in frustration, and the conversation ended.

    If I held up a gun and told LF to hand me his money or else I would shoot, LF would hand me his money. Then if I told him I’d still shoot to kill, he would say that I can’t do that, that it can’t be true. Well, who says it isn’t true? Him?

    These are the people who think it is “true” that if you just give people who use violence and intimidation what they “want” that they will just “go away”. But is that the truth? If it was, would people like LF need the police? Would they constantly be harping about social inequality and how the solution to it is a big government bully? Would they eagerly remove the block from Big Business because it just isn’t “true” that people can’t solve their own problems without outside interference?

    Sadly, we share the planet with them and have to live with the consequences of their belief systems.

    This is why we need interstellar space travel.

    We have sort of run out of places on this planet to run away from our neighbors, you know.

    It’s so easy just to lead the conversation away, and makes for an increased atmosphere of civility.

    Nobody designed those tools to be particularly hard to handle Book.

    I mean, yes, we could look on with cynicalism or disappoint at the fact that so many people we consider our “friends” can be so easily fooled, but it is actually a good thing, since that means they are as easy for us to manipulate as the MSM.

  14. Ymarsakar says

    Harry Reid sucks on the blood of patriots like the parasite that he is. The fact that we can’t get rid of him without killing the host is regrettable. But when there is a will, there is a way. There just isn’t enough vindictive will amongst politicians in America to get rid of their competitors, at least not when they aren’t Chicago Democrats like Obama.

  15. Ymarsakar says

    This is not hard, because liberals are easily distracted.

    A tool does whatever I tell it to. If it has an accident, then that will often be due to unclear instructions or incorrect usage.

    and is what I find myself doing a lot of the time.

    The fact that you must massage and handle a lot of children, Book, must give you quite a bit of puppet theater practice. Don’t get rusty now!

    and makes for an increased atmosphere of civility.

    The feelings of little children must always be massaged to create a greater atmosphere of civility, Book.

    Plus, I get to show off all my arcane, irrelevant knowledge, leaving people with the impression I’m smart.

    Given your greater maturity and level of wisdom compared to ignorant and inexperienced children, certainly that is to be expected.

    You may or may not have convinced them that you are smarter than they, but given your level of wisdom and their lack of it, smarts don’t really come into play at the end.

    An idiot savant is still an idiot when it comes to things outside that savant’s particular specialization.

  16. Tiresias says

    “Sometimes we can’t choose our friends”…. wow. Can’t say as I’ve ever encountered that one before. Can’t choose family, certainly; but in Marin County you don’t even get to choose your friends? And peope live there voluntarily?

    I guess it truly must be the worst place in the world. I manage not to be lonely in the cities with which I interact most: Seattle, LA, Boston, and NYC – all pretty widely seen as liberal bastions. Marin must be genuinely godawful!

  17. Mike Devx says

    Danny #13
    >> I am convinced that we are living on the cusp between civilizations. The Age of Reason is giving way to the Era of Oprah. We must learn to adapt. >>

    Perhaps once a week, Book could open up a thread where we all could simply respond to news with emotion rather than logic. To adapt to the Brave New World, we must abandon all rationality and logic (and the Constitution), and simply respond to everything with emotion. It’s all about the feeeeeeeeeelings, you see, and if it makes us feel sad or bad or mad, then it must be the problem.

    My god! Someone is holding a dead child up to the camera! How terrible! How terrible! Now the media is showing us a crack whore. Oh, how could we have let this happen? A fire where people died! We must make all buildings 100% safe no matter what. It doesn’t matter that they ignored their bad electrical wiring, we must all fix all problems! There’s another dead Hamas child held up to the cameras! What, you say, the child was herded back into the building after Israel warned them a strike was coming? I don’t care, it just makes me feel bad, so Israel is wrong! Bad Israel, bad bad bad! You’re bad until you make me feel good. Because the media is showing me bad pictures, and the media will stop when you stop.

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