Suek posted this is an open thread, but I thought it was too good to keep hidden:
Marines are taught:
1) Keep your priorities in order and
2) Know when to act without hesitation.
A MARINE was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan.
One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU. One day he shocked the class when he came in, looked to the ceiling, and flatly stated, “God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I’ll give you exactly 15 minutes.” The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes
went by and the professor proclaimed, “Here I am God I’m still waiting.”
It got down to the last couple of minutes when the MARINE got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The MARINE went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned ! and sat there looking on in silence.
The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the MARINE and asked, “What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?”
The MARINE calmly replied, “God was too busy today taking care of America’s soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an asshole. So, He sent me.”
Had this Marine been in Berlin in 1925, he might have kept my Dad from becoming a lifelong atheist. My Dad’s mother always told him that, if he ate leavened bread during Passover, God would strike him dead with a lightening bolt. When my Dad was six, he decided to put this theory to the test. He stood on the curb with a piece of leavened bread in his hand. His plan: Take a bite of the bread and simultaneously jump off the curb into the street, so that the lightening bolt would miss. He put the plan into effect, but to no purpose — the lightening bolt never appeared. With six-year-old logic, rather than concluding that his mother was misinformed, my Dad gave up on God.