Press releases as they should be written

Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for Earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!

Huh? Well, the wild boys at South Park have taken on Scientology. Scientology, in turn, apparently spurred on by Tom Cruise (an actor whose charm has always eluded me), convinced Viacom to take all future rebroadcasts of that episode off the air. The above is the verbatim Press Release issued by South Park’s creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

Whatever your views on the matter, this is clearly the best Press Release ever to come out of the entertainment industry or, for that matter, any industry.