Why I’m shocked that Cardi B interviewed Joe Biden

I don’t believe that it’s being prudish to find it offensive when a major party presidential candidate has an interview with a porn rapper.

I don’t know about you, but I found it shocking that Joe Biden, who’s not taking questions from reporters, nevertheless found time to do an interview with Cardi B. Let me explain.

At one level, Cardi B makes sense. She grew up the hard way in the Bronx. Her paternal grandparents, who were Dominican, mostly raised her, which is why she sounds like a person from the Dominican, rather than one from New York. In this way, she has a weird connection to Lawrence Welk — of all people — who was born and grew up in North Dakota but was raised in a German-speaking environment, creating an accent he kept until his dying day.

Cardi B joined the Bloods when she was a teenager. Also, while she was still a teenager, her mother kicked her out of the house, she got involved in an abusive relationship, she became a stripper, and she rolled drunk guys. (I’m using the old-fashioned expression for robbing a drunk; I’m not talking about this kind of roll.) At the same time, Cardi managed to get herself into the Renaissance School for the Performing Arts. That’s a good kind of drive.

Thanks to online videos, Cardi B made a name for herself as a rapper. She then got onto a VH1 reality show. After that, she just went up and up, becoming one of the top female rappers in America, with a huge following. She got out of the gang lifestyle, had a baby, and, with $24 million in her pockets, seems to be living a clean life. My little Bookworm, who is not a fan, says that people in her age group admire Cardi B for making something of herself.

So, in that way, it makes perfect sense that Joe Biden would have a short interview with Cardi B. After all, he needs her demographic behind him if he’s to have a shot at the White House.

But then there’s the other side of Cardi B. It is impossible to imagine a more vulgar person, a vulgarity that crawls in the gutter with sexual perversion. You can see her recent video “WAP” (more on that in a moment), as well as some advice she offers to young women about their sexual advice Breitbart. Cardi B also thinks looting is a great way for people to register political displeasure.

And now, about that rap song “WAP.” It is porn set to music, nothing more and nothing less. And it’s not just sleazy, X-rated references to sex that our children can see on the internet. Instead, the song is about perverse, S&M sex with prostitutes.

WAP sees Cardi B and her fellow rapper, Megan thee Stallion, take disgusting to a level that ought to be hidden in back alleys and underground sex clubs for people with the sense to keep their fetishes to themselves. I can’t and won’t print the lyrics here, just as I cannot and will not put her videos here. If want to see the kind of person that sat down for a chat with Biden to help promote his candidacy, however, you can find the lyrics here. At the end of this post, you can find my valiant attempt to Bowdlerize the song — that is, to make the lyrics less obscene offensive — so that people can at least get an idea of what Cardi B thinks is appropriate for general public consumptions. For many passages, it was impossible to create a cleaned-up version.

While I can understand a presidential candidate for one of the two major parties in America having an interview with an American success story (the Cardi B who pulled herself up from stripping and crime), I find it incomprehensible and appalling that a Democrat-party presidential candidate would let a perversion porn rapper interview him. Are we a culture so lost to anything resembling dignity that this is okay?

I can be very open-minded. After all, I came of age in the 1970s. As I’ve become older, though, I’ve become more traditional in my values because I’ve seen that traditional American-Judeo-Christian values serve people well, especially women. Women are not men and encouraging them to have sex like men doesn’t empower them, it demoralizes them. Even in the 1970s and 1980s, though, at my peak open-mindedness, I would have found Cardi B’s output disgusting. I would also have thought less of a major presidential party candidate taking interviews with someone who created that material.

I know that Bill Clinton demeaned the president’s office, as did Obama, who liked to bring to the White House rap stars who trafficked in lyrics about women as whores and killing cops. Nevertheless, I still manage to be shocked when I see Biden having an interview with someone who wrote and sang “WAP.” It is a bridge too far. And the thing is, I can’t figure out whether Biden did the interview because he’s senile and his youthful advisors thought it would be a good idea or if he did it because Cardi B’s particular perversions appeal to a presidential candidate who has a very icky approach to little girls and women.


Cardi B “WAP” expurgated lyrics. (In bowdlerized terms, WAP stands for “Venus’s honeypot.” That last is a euphemism from the early 1700s, and you’re free to look it up.)

Ladies of the evening in this house
There’s some ladies of the evening in this house
There’s some ladies of the evening in this house
There’s some ladies of evening in this house (Hol’ up)
I said certified sexually adventurous, seven days a week
Venus’s honeypot, make that rhythm method of birth control weak, woo (Ah)

[Chorus: Cardi B]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, you having sexual congress with some Venus’s honeypot
Bring cleaning supplies for this Venus’s honeypot
Give me everything you got for this Venus’s honeypot

[Verse 1: Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion]
Make yourself excited, N-word, do something possibly illegal
With great size and strength
[There is no way to bowdlerize the next two lines
They are simply too obscene]
Come join me so we can take a journey together
I will exercise my internal muscles with you joining in
Pretend my mouth is a spittoon, look in my eyes
This kitten was caught in the rain, jump in the pool
Pretend to surprise me by wrapping me like a birthday gift
Let’s play pretend. I’ll wear a disguise
[Another two lines that are just
Too obscene to bowdlerize]
Out in public, I’ll probably embarrass you
I don’t cook, I don’t clean
But let me tell you how I got this ring (Ayy, ayy)

[Verse 2: Megan Thee Stallion]
[Once again, all of these lines defeat any attempt to make them
Even margially descent;
They are so revolting, obscene, and racist
That it’s impossible to find
Coy substitutes for
The insane vulgarity that
Megan Thee Stallion is chanting.
At a certain point, after describing revolting
Sexual practices, Megan Thee Stallion
Gets down to the business side of the deal.]
Ask for a car while you enjoy sexual congress
He probably would have given it to you anyway
Now please get dressed
But not too dressed, because he wants to take pictures
If I let him have his way with me he’ll pay my tuition
So he’d better shower me with money.

[Verse 3: Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion]
I need someone who has sexual expertise
I’d also like him to drink and do drugs
And it would be good if he were well endowed
Perhaps even with some interesting physical peculiarities
But if he’s got money, I’ll be there
My sexual abilities are worth his money
[Again, the next
Nine lines of this
“Song” are so
Disgusting that I can’t
Even make myself try to
Tidy them up a little
So that people can get
An idea about the woman who talked
To Democrat presidential candidate Biden.]

[Verse 4: Megan Thee Stallion]
Your honor, I’m a sexually adventurous woman who enjoys sadism
My partner and I enjoy role playing
I enjoy humiliating him
I’ll also take a little maschoism on the side
I’m at the top of the food chain but it’s too
Disgusting for me to tell you why
Big D stand for [the real lyric is “big demeanor,” but I’m thinking Big Democrat]
I could make you detonate without ever meeting you
I prefer well endowed men
That works with my masochism
I always hope that, when a man is with me,
He remembers who I am; if not, I’ll tell him.

[Chorus: Cardi B]
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, you enjoying sexual congress with some Venus’s honeypot
Bring cleaning equipment for this Venus’s honeypot
Give me everything you got for this Venus’s honeypot
[Too obscene]
Bring cleaning equipment for this Venus’s honeypot
[The next two lines also defy bowdlerizing;
I don’t know what they mean but they sound awful]

[Outro: Al “T” McLaran]
There’s some ladies of the evening in this house
There’s some ladies of the evening in this house
There’s some ladies of the evening in this house
There’s some ladies of the evening in this house
There’s some ladies of the evening in this house
There’s some ladies of the evening in this house
There’s some ladies of the evening in this house
There’s some ladies of the evening in this house
There’s some ladies of the evening in this house
There’s some ladies of the evening in this house

Image: Collage using screengrab of (1) Joe Biden in a Voice of America video (public domain) and (2) Cardi B, by Chris Allmeid; Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International license.