Because teens hadn’t already figured out that sex can feel good
Those who are pushing for universal health care here in America might want to take just a second to contemplate what Britain’s National Health Service (“NHS”) is doing in the area of teen sex. Because Britain has the highest teen pregnancy rate in Europe, which no doubt is quite costly to the NHS, you might assume that the NHS would push a combination of abstinence and contraception. Thinking along those lines, of course, would just prove how utterly naive you are.
Contrary to your naivete, the NHS is hip, dear, totally hip. Teens shouldn’t be lectured about such boring things as self-control, love, marriage, and contraception. They should be groovin’ and going with their feelings. Sex is beautiful, man, and the NHS is there to make sure the teens know that fact. Thus, an NHS pamphlet prepared specially for British teens contains this helpful information:
The NHS is telling school pupils they have a ‘right’ to an enjoyable sex life and that it is good for their health.
A Health Service leaflet says experts concentrate too much on the need for safe sex and loving relationships, and not enough on the pleasure it can bring.
Under the heading ‘an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away’, the leaflet says: ‘Health promotion experts advocate five portions of fruit and veg a day and 30 minutes physical activity three times a week. What about sex or masturbation twice a week?’
The advice, which also claims regular sex is good for cardiovascular health, has been circulated to parents, teachers and youth workers.
The NHS leaflet has been drawn up by Sheffield primary care trust and is entitled Pleasure.
The true beauty of the pamphlet is the rationale its author offers for promulgating this groovy, free-lovin’ information:
Its author, Steve Slack, director of the Centre for HIV and Sexual Health at NHS Sheffield, defended it by saying the advice could encourage young people to delay losing their virginity until they are sure they will enjoy the experience.
He added that as long as teenagers are fully informed about sex and making decisions free of peer pressure as part of a caring relationship, they have as much right as an adult to a good sex life.
Each and every Victorian who ever lived is rolling in his or her grave.
The few sane minds left in England are protesting the NHS’s latest effort to decrease teen pregnancy — which is an effort only Austin Powers could truly appreciate — but I rather wonder if they’re going to have much success.
Considering how whacked out the NHS is becoming over the seemingly intractable problem of teen pregnancy (especially since the word “no” does not seem to be a part of the British sex ed vocabulary), one wonders if the next step is going to be a consultation with Obama’s own science czar, John Holdren. A little hormone treatment to the national water system, and everyone can have all the fun sex they want.
It’s rather funny to think that Kurt Vonnegut, who wrote Welcome to the Monkey House: Stories at about the same time as Holdren wrote his treatise on mass sterilization, got it all wrong. The secret wasn’t, as Vonnegut’s overpopulated alternative reality predicted, making sex too awful for anyone to try. Instead, it was making it so much fun that people would willingly permanently spay or neuter themselves for the pleasure.