It seems that many in today’s world share the popular perception that women nag. I argue in this post, though, that they’re often just doing their job.
It’s official: UC Berkeley and Bar-Ilan University in Israel have completed a large study that proves that women are perceived as . . . wait for it . . . nags:
The study done by UC-Berkeley and Bar-Ilan University in Israel found that wives, mothers, and sisters are “the most difficult people” to deal with. The survey included responses from “over 1,100 diverse respondents who described over 12,000 relationships.” The result: “close kin, especially women relatives and aging parents, were especially likely to be named as difficult.”
For those between the ages of 21-30, sisters were named as the most difficult to engage, with wives, and mothers coming in second and third respectively. Fathers, brothers, boyfriends, roommates, and co-workers were lower down their list. Older people between 50 and 70 years old also listed mothers and girlfriends as the most difficult in their lives with similar results as those younger when it comes to male family members and friends.
That sounds pretty bad, doesn’t it? However, I do believe that, at least for some women, there’s logic behind this bad reputation.
I’ll start with those nagging sisters. Sisters nag because, despite Progressives’ efforts to erase all sex distinctions, little girls who compare Mommy and Daddy, conclude that “Mommy and I are the same ones.” From that, little girls draw the natural conclusion that they should mimic Mommy’s behavior. If Mommy nags, so should every little girl.
It’s this kind of logic that lies behind a story famous in my family. When my niece was three, her Mom went to the preschool for a parent-teacher conference. Because my niece has always been an intelligent and delightful child, the conference was an excellent one, focusing on how well she was developing. Mom, however, had a concern. She’d noticed at home that my niece seemed to be awfully bossy. The preschool teacher brushed away these concerns. “All three-year-old girls are bossy. If they could, they’d rule the world.”
I saw the same trend with my children. I also got a very quick education in the reason when I heard my female Little Bookworm, when speaking to my male Little Bookworm, using the very same words I routinely used when it came time to lay down the law. Little pitchers, especially little female pitchers, have big ears.
(As an aside, my son picked up on something else. My daughter, when quite little, went through a phase of responding to my directions or critiques by saying, “I hate you.” Rather than addressing that, I always replied, “Well, I still love you — and you still need to pick up your toys.” One memorable day, when the kids — who were, as I said, quite small — got into a heated argument, my daughter, exasperated, flung at her brother, “I hate you.” He knew the answer to that one: “Well, I still love you — and you’re still a poopy face.”) [Read more…]